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I feel like a horrible person no matter what I do

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Invidia, Apr 17, 2016.

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  1. Invidia

    Invidia Guest

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    I don't remember the last time I had a single positive thought about myself. I feel like a terrible person no matter what I do. Like, when I eat, I feel like a horrible person because I'm wasting resources on someone like me. Even when I give my time to working for human rights, I feel like I'm just a waste of space who isn't dong enough with the resources granted me. In my eyes, I'm literally the worst person who ever walked the Earth. There's no one I hate more than myself.
    I got the shivers when I watched Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (part 2), when Voldemort is talking with Lucius, and he says "How can you live with yourself, Lucius?" and Lucius answers "I don't know" so earnestly. That's how I feel every minute of every day. I'm always uncomfortable, no matter what I do. I've even prayed that I'd have an accident of some sort to end this shit, but then I just feel even worse when I think about that there are people who's actually gone that way very much against their will...
    I don't know why I'm rambling, I just had some stuff on my chest I wanted to get out...
     
    #1 Invidia, Apr 17, 2016
  2. Systems

    Systems
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    Sometimes it good to ramble and get your thoughts out. Thanks for sharing. I know what it's like to hate yourself.

    (*hug*)
     
    #2 Systems, Apr 17, 2016
  3. Argentwing

    Argentwing
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    I've been feeling much the same lately. Not to the point of self-hate or loathing, but definitely like I don't deserve my fortunes.

    I think it falls back on the idea that life itself is a blessing. None of us can know if we've objectively earned our right to be here. I'm sure some people have and believe they haven't, and vice-versa. In the same vein, nobody chooses to be born, not even the highest-flying success stories. The world is for all of us, and if you're surviving while causing a minimum of harm to others, you're doing it right.

    <3
     
    #3 Argentwing, Apr 17, 2016
  4. Invidia

    Invidia Guest

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    thx
     
    #4 Invidia, Apr 18, 2016
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