I had a headache today and I was kinda whining about it. My mom said it was probably because I was overheating and I should where a t-shirt. My wrists are all cut up so I didn't want to, but she got a bit angry and sorta made me. I tried to hide my wrists for as long as possible, but she saw them eventually and she totally freaked out. She was scolding me a little bit, and then I got all bitchy with her and told her it was none of her business anyway, then she got really, really mad at me and told me that if I ever hurt myself again she's gonna send me back to the psychiatric ward I got put in when I tried to kill myself. I started crying after that and went up to my room, and then I came down and apologized because I was being a big jerk. My mom said she wasn't trying to yell or anything, but she's afraid I might try to kill myself again. I'm not gonna kill myself again, and I don't want her to think I will. She's already really upset with me I think, and this just kinda made it worse. I also feel bad cause I was sorta being a brat, and I feel like I might have upset my mom. It's jst generally not very good and I don't know what to do about it.
You're not a brat and I'm sorry that happened. Why wouldn't she have reacted with compassion? If your kid is hurting badly enough to self-harm, why would she add to that with a verbal whipping? You can't browbeat someone into a better mental state. Obviously she's correct in not wanting you to continue, but try talking to her next time you're feeling really bad and maybe you'll get a better reaction.
It's not really her fault. She goes so out of her way to never get angry around me because of how upset I've been that she has a lot of these feelings pent up and sometimes they come out at the wrong time. She apologized and everything, it's just that she has a really short fuse and as a general rule I tend to respond more to aggressive and strict parenting than anything. I think she's just really worried about me is all.
Well you do know her better than I do, but if you feel the need to hide things from her, clearly there is room for improvement in your relationship. Maybe talk to her when the time is right to see her feelings about your situation?
I should tell her more than I do, but honestly she's a bit intimidating sometimes. I don't mind, as it makes me feel really safe, but at the same time it makes me a bit closed off sometimes. It's weird, because I'm very clingy with my mom to the point where I almost feel like a burden at times, and I am more than willing to have her in complete control of my life for the most part, but there are certain things I just don't feel comfortable talking about with her. I probably should work on that though.
Children are never burden to parents. Trust me. Tell her. Try to be open with her as much as you can possibly can. You say you're "clingy" with her. I'll interpret that as being really close to her. I'm really close to my mom too. I tell her almost everything. Sometimes you just need parents' help to get out of situations. This is something like that IMHO. Let her help you. Yes, she might be verbally abusive sometimes, but as long as it doesn't continue for a long time, that's fine. When I slit my wrists years ago my mom was angry, then sad and then shouted at me for a while. That's because she was worried about me and worried that she almost lost me. That's how parents are.
phoenix77 is right we are not burdens to our parents even though we feel that way sometimes it took me a long time to realize that my parents behavior towards me was not out of anger most of the time and at the end of the day most of the time when parents respond in anger its not because of you its because they feel powerless and it frustrates the hell out of them because they want to help but they do not how and the best way you can help them help you is to establish a honest line of communication with them it helps build a stronger relationship i hope what i said helps in any form and if it helps reach out im here for you
Not trying to be mean or anything, but I agree with the mom. Your mom has evey right to be mad. its a really big deal. Just imagine that your own kid tried to end her life. you think its over or atleast calming down and getting better, and you find out your own baby is still hurting herself! I would be shocked and scared for her life. Again, Im not trying to be mean to you, but you need to understand that she has a reason to get mad at you. You can say that you wont kill yourself, but that would be pretty hard to believe for her if it has happened before. I would talk to her about it and maybe seek professional help or a therapist or something like that. Ive had similar experiences, but professional help does really help oyu. lots of luck with your mom and lots of hugs from me
