Hey, I just had my heart broken and my trust betrayed... it would do me a lot of good to cry and have a good emotional release, the problem is, I am unable to cry. I haven't cryed since my grandpa died in 2012, and even then, it was just once. Since, I have gone through a very trying coming out process, a burn-out in law school and have went through dissapointment after dissapointment in my dating life.... In all those times, I experienced strong emotions, felt the emotion in my chest and in my stomach, my voice will choke up a little, but I can't actually cry. Even watching really sad movies, where I am moved to the edge of tears where I think I will cry, I can't actually cry. The problem is that I really am not holding back... Can anyone give me any insight? I feel like I really need to cry. Any suggestions?
It may be your natural disposition or likely, a symptom of depression. Depression can make you emotionally apathetic or blunted (it's called "flattened effect") and based on what you've described about your life circumstances that's a possibility. On the other hand, some people just have that disposition in their personality where tears are very rare. In my family, my father is as cold as a rock and I'm hardly different, yet my mother and other brothers are very emotional and can be brought to tears much easier. There is nothing inherently wrong with either scenario, only we react to strong emotion in a fundamentally different way. I'm not sure how to "fix" the issue, but perhaps if it is disconcerting you could see a psychotherapist about possible depression. The only thing that really elicits crying, for me, is listening to really sad music when I'm by myself.
I know what you're talking about. Sometimes emotions go sort of off the scale and there is this wierd dissociation. Or tears don't want to come out. Contrary to popular belief, you need to be somewhat calm to actually cry. The feeling can't be like a storm, rather like November rain. There's nothing bad about not being able to cry, nor is it an illness. I just go play the piano or run when such a thing happens, or I write it out to text editor and then throw it away, or write something creative like a story. You can also talk to someone about the problem, go someplace where you can talk freely.
