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Concerned about my friend - Being used

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Chanze1, May 4, 2016.

  1. Chanze1

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    uk
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    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Hello All...I hope you are all well.. Well i am more in search of advice for a very close friend really which i am deeply concerned about. Her story goes like this. She (Lanna) meet this woman over 18 years ago at work. They instantly became close The other woman(Bee) had a son from a previous marriage and so did Lanna ( she has two sons. Anyway, within a few weeks of meeting , the two feel deeply in love. Lanna, had trouble dealing with this because she had been brought up in a traditional Catholic background and have always fought off any implications that she was gay or even liked women in that way. Anyways it was a tough ride because Bee was more open , although i do feel for Bee, she liked to play around ..Anyways , when the relationship became intense .
    Lanna ran into the arms of a man and married him. Bee also did the same . Lanna and Bee both fought vigorously with each other and things became extremely nasty. It had gotten worst since Bee dated a guy .I think as the result of Lanna pushing Bee away so much.

    Anyways, fast forward 2 years later ( They had an on and off relationship for 4 years then). Bee dated another guy and they both had a long engagement ( a year) . Lanna at the time was still married . After a year , Bee decides to marry her fiancee (Jack) and two months later she was pregnant with his child. A few months later Lanna divorced her husband.
    Ever since , Bee has constantly checking out Lanna's social networking site, even putting a picture up of Lanna on her page or referring to her in one way or another. Bee was not all innocent too, She would constantly mention Lanna at gatherings and had made apologies on a few occasions to friends about how she treated her. I will always tell Lanna to just walk away .She has meet other women , She is just not the same. It is as if her soul had completely been destroyed. She is just a shadow of her former self :frowning2:...
    Anyways fast forward 5 years down the line. Lanna started a new job and meet some wonderful women and had fun . All of a sudden, Bee starts to tell people how badly Lanna treated her when they where together and how Lanna made her physical ill everyday because of how she treated her. Now that hurt all of us because we couldnt understand why Bee would do such a thing , given she had a life we thought she was happy with. So why drag up something that happened 14 years ago??.
    A year later we had a work reunion and Bee turned up which was a such a shock to us all..Bee and Lanna both talked and apparently spent the day together (maybe to mend fences) and when it came to the gatherings, i noticed Lanna keep being affectionate towards Bee- touching her . Bee didn't recapitulate, she was just being polite. Then the following day , Bee was putting picture of herfamily talking about how happy she is :tantrum:. I just could not work it out.. Then the next minute she be saying stuff pretaining to Lanna on her page . The last thing she said was , she wants Lanna but also wants her husband . I told Lanna to leave her alone totally . Lanna has been pretty good in doing that but Bee keeps on .. She said yesterday that she hopes to have many more years of laughs with Lanna .. and someone put up a fun pic about both her and Lanna getting married and she posted a "smile" .. I am so concerned about Lanna . I know Lanna still loves her and i think that is why Bee is taking advantage..I wonder if you guys can help me understand why Lanna is so cruel , knowing she decided to lay down and have a kid with this guy , but yet tainting Lanna. Is she still bitter against Lanna for what happened between them? Why is she doing this?
     
    #1 Chanze1, May 4, 2016
    Last edited: May 4, 2016