Hey everyone Just posting on here to vent. I've been crushing really hard on a colleague for the last couple of years. It actually started on my very first day at work, just my luck. I have posted about it before, but there has been a shift since. This woman is older than me (in my mid-20s, in her early 40s), and she has a son I believe is around my age. I have been starstruck from the first moment I met her, simply because she is absolutely amazing (she doesn't seem to know how much, which makes her even more adorable). We didn't talk much at first, but a few months back she has started initiating contact by making small talk, and trying to catch up whenever we were in the cafeteria. She is naturally very friendly and I think she does want to be friends, and so do I. My problem now is that I am so overwhelmed by how deeply I feel about her, that I cannot make this work. I have always been socially awkward and although I can be very easy going around my close friends and family, every time I meet someone new I shy away easily and shut them out. It happens every time she tries to get close. If I am in the cafeteria getting a drink or whatever, she comes over and starts talking to me and I just freeze. I literally cannot think of anything to say, and always try to keep myself busy with stuff so I don't have to look straight at her. I manage the bare minimum but it always seems superficial. I try to avoid her whenever I can, and I think she's picked up on that. To make things worse, I think it's hurting her feelings and I hate myself for it. She is so caring and kind, and this whole thing is not fair on her. I don't know what to do. Every morning before going into work, I have a pep talk with myself to keep cool and act natural, but the minute she steps in it all goes out the window. :icon_redf I don't want her to think that I don't care or that I don't notice that she's trying, because I do. I'm just lost and it sucks. Anyway, if you have made it to the end, thank you for taking the time to read. Cheers
Hey, I know how you feel. It must be very frustrating for you. Do you have other friends at work? Being friends with her can work both ways: Either it could lead to more frustration for you, or it could lead to the pedestal you've put her on to crumble. The key is really to let that pedestal crumble. She's just a norman human being, like you. She does number 2s when on the toilet and leaves the bathroom with it smelling bad. She probably picks her nose when nobody's watching. She's got issues and insecurities just like the rest of us. She stumbles on the sidewalk and hopes nobody sees. She masturbates to fetishes you'd find weird. I don't know what else to tell you.
Haha that's exactly what my mother said I get along with a few people at work, but I wouldn't say we're friends. I have been trying to see her as just another person but it's hard. Thanks tho, that really cracked me up
