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Lost and can't move on

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Soulsearching, May 15, 2016.

  1. Soulsearching

    Regular Member

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    Lesbian
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    Hey Everyone,

    I'm new to the forum and i look forward to meeting people here.

    I met a girl on an online chat and she turned out to be living in a country that i often visited. We had exchanged numbers and were constantly chatting. She was in a relationship with another girl. After a couple of months i learnt that she was hospitalised and had severe depression (Break up - 4 year relationship). We met once before her break up.
    So at one point i realised that i was in love with her and kind of told her on whatsapp. She said we're two different people and that we are not even friends.
    We continued to talk and she already was in another relationship. We met a couple of times again and with each meeting my love grew stronger. At one point she blocked me saying i was obsessed with her. A lot has happened since then. . She broke up again and got into a relationship and blocked me unblocked me which was like a vicious cycle.

    I never used to talk much during our meet ups. I'm a socially awkward person and never did i confess my love for her in person.
    Recently i wrote a story about my feelings and showed it to her, she enjoyed it too. She's in a relationship now and I'm happy for her. Things have changed now cos she talks nicely with me and also trusts me.
    But my feelings are intact. . I can't move on and we still talk but i know that she wouldn't love me back like ever.

    What should i do? I think i don't deserve love. . I'm a complicated person i can't emote well. . It's difficult for me to understand emotions. May be she didn't like me cos i can't provide the emotional comfort nor show compassion.
    i think i don't deserve love.

    PS: i know it is lengthy. But anyone taking their time to read this, thanks to you
     
  2. Gunsmoke

    Regular Member

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    Please don't feel like you're unloveable just because of one girl... But I'm so sorry that this happened to you, that's horrible. Honestly, to me she sounds like she was sending you mixed signals.

    It's not that you don't deserve love, it's just that she was probably the wrong person for it. A lot of people go through experiences like yours and I'm sure that you'll find the right person. I just doubt that she's the right person.

    Personally, I'd say that maybe start distancing yourself a bit. Like, maybe just try talking to her a bit less and start looking towards other people? Maybe it would help a little bit... Sorry if this reply is totally useless, but my point is that you're NOT unloveable. People often get their heart broken, but you will heal from it and find love again, I'm sure.
     
  3. Soulsearching

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
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    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Hey,
    Thanks for that. I'm trying to distance myself but I'm not able to. She herself suggested that i should move in but I'm not able to. And i didn't say that I'm unlovable cos of my heart break. It's my personality. . I'm sure people expect lot of compassion and display of emotions in a relating but i can't offer that.