1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Identity and haircut and stress and bleh

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by bubbles123, May 15, 2016.

  1. bubbles123

    bubbles123 Guest

    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2015
    Messages:
    934
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    New England, US
    So off and on, I've been thinking of cutting my hair really short (it's always been very long). I keep going back and forth, and today I got really excited about actually doing it.

    But I've also been going through a lot of confusion with gender expression and sexual orientation and thinking about my hair a lot brought up a lot of that and I got really stressed out.
    Now whenever I think about cutting my hair, I just feel that stress again. I also feel that I'm prone to letting my gender expression influence my thoughts about my sexual orientation, i.e. I'm already a bit tomboyish and cutting my hair, I feel I'd put myself more into the "I'm definitely a lesbian" box even though I totally don't even know yet (I know gender expression and appearance have nothing to do with orientation, I just feel that way for some reason since I'm very confused and just want certainty I guess.)

    I just feel that in other ways though cutting my hair would feel very freeing because it's something that would make me feel more like me, and maybe give me more confidence to make my own decisions, because I often make all my decisions based on the opinions of others.

    So my question: should I maybe wait until I have more stuff figured out and feel less stressed? Should I just say screw it and go for it?

    Thanks so much for any advice you may have!:kiss:
     
  2. Klutz

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2012
    Messages:
    149
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    New England
    Think about it for at least two weeks. Look for people that have great hair and ask them where they got it done. There is also nothing to say you can't go in stages. Maybe go for a bob and see how you like it. You don't have to do it all in one go.

    I cut all my hair off and went through a shock phase because my expression to the world was so totally different (in my mind). I didn't realize how much weight I put into my hair to define my femininity. There was a feeling of vulnerability, because I couldn't hide behind my hair to define my beauty standards. I had a very feminine short cut, but I felt the need to wear earrings and more makeup. I didn't feel like my hair was doing the job of expressing my fem side, so something had to pick up the slack. That being said, I don't regret it at all.

    I would do research on feminine short hair cuts. If you are worried about it being too masculine, look at the hair around the ears. Do you like the cuts that are wispy or sharply defined? Watch youtube videos for styling advice. I got a bad cut to start, but after a month and a wonderful stylist, I had a cut I loved. I felt prettier and more beautiful than I ever did with super long hair.

    I did get a few questions about my orientation, but they were few and from people who should probably already know that I'm at least bi. Everyone else was either too polite to say anything, or didn't really care. New England is awesome like that, at least where I was.

    By the way, short hair is not easier to maintain, unless it is less than an inch length. Anyone that tells you this is lying. You will probably spend more time in the morning styling it. I went from a night shower person to a morning one, because I had to get my hair wet to make it behave. Once it grew out to a chin length bob, it became easier again.