So for those of you who have read my posts before, you probably know about the girl I've fallen for who rejected me. If not, it's a simple story, really-- I'm a freshman, she's a senior, I'm bi, she's straight, I asked, she rejected. And she said we were good. She said we could be friends. But now I think she hates me. It's not even anything she's done. I'm just getting weird vibes from her. Like, she hasn't changed her behavior at all, but our dynamic's changed. She acts WAY too professional around me, even though we used to joke around like ALL the time. And when I tease her, I feel like sometimes I'm being mean to her, completely accidentally... I don't want her to think that I hate HER, because I DON'T! I just... miss her. But I've been trying to stay away, because she probably thinks I'm creepy now... she always used to joke that I was her little stalker, but maybe now she's starting to realize I AM pretty creepy... but not on purpose... I just stare at her a lot... I'm not sure if I'm in love with her, but it sure feels like it. I'm afraid I'll never find anyone else like her... afraid I'll never feel this strongly about anyone, ever again. She's beautiful, and perfect, and funny, and smart, and I know I need to move on, but I just... can't. And even though she's graduating at the end of this year, I'm still going to have to see her, because she's staying in town and coming back to mentor the academic team we're both on (which is actually how I met her). And also, I think I might like her sister, too. She's a freshman like me, but also straight... and if I were to tell HER how I felt, I may as well just seclude myself from the whole family because by then they'll all think I'm some little weirdo. But I'm not, I promise! At least... I don't think I am... Am I weird? Is this weird, what I'm feeling? These are the first girls I've ever liked who aren't celebrities... and they're RELATED... maybe the freshmen girl I'm friends with just reminds me of her sister... who I may or may not love...? What do I do? I just want to crawl in a hole forever... :tears:
Hey it can be tough getting over a crush. Distance can be good. Sometimes writing a list of everything bad about the person can help you see them for their bad as well as their good. I know it feels like you will never find anyone else like her but you will and it will be better because it will be reciprocated.
