Hey all, I'm not going to get into my background too much, the important thing to know is I've just very recently come to terms with my sexuality and at this point I'm still Only out to a few friends. Needless to say, I've never dated before, which I know at 21 is incredibly sad. Anyway, my younger sister recently started college and made friends with a guy I kind of assumed was gay (just got the impression) although he was rather masculine. Though besides the point, that's a huge plus for me since I am too. Even though I found him attractive, I never pursued anything. That is until a few weeks ago when I for whatever reason decided to start using a dating app I can't name on here, and found he had a profile. Long story short, I added him on Facebook, we started messaging, ended up exchanging phone numbers, and I finally (after a few shots of vodka lol) texted him and asked if he'd want to hang out someday soon. He said he would. Well sober me doesn't exactly have the amount of confidence drunk me has, and having literally no dating experience at all makes that even worse. I'm at a loss as to what to do now. I haven't talked to him since he said he'd be interested, so it's not like we even made plans, and that was 2 days ago. How do I approach him to take the next steps? Sorry, I know I sound stupid, but this is a totally new world for me! As a side note, I know this probably sounds horrible, but I couldn't help let my curiosity get the best of me and check out his social media. I find out he's pretty religious and conservative. I'm nonreligious and very left leaning. Do you think I'm doomed from the start? I have to say, I've never encountered an openly LGBT person who's political and religious ideologies lean so right.
No it's not. I'm a few years older than you. Black and gay and feminine. Never been in a relationship or asked out, and guys who I asked out either laugh or aren't attracted to me. I do have gay friends though. He does sound straight though, so I would tread with caution. Stay in touch, but don't get your hopes up. Be careful with liquor too. Just be patient I guess. I don't want to play with your emotions and give you false hopes. However I will say, just be happy about it. You're not clueless. God loves you, and he'll send someone for you hopefully.
I'm sorry, I'm a little confused by your response. What would lead you to believe he is straight? I found that he had a profile on an LGBT dating app (maybe I was unclear about that) and that's what led to us beginning to talk. My question is more along the lines of what I should do next? Now that he said he'd be down to hang out do I message and offer plans? Because I just took for granted he was at least bi seeing as he had a profile on that app and when I brought it up didn't object to it at all... Ugh, I wish I had more experience in this :/
I would keep it light and simple at this point if you are unsure whether or not he's interested in dating. Text him and see if he'd like to maybe go for drinks or to hangout(if you're comfortable enough with him). Or perhaps some other plans you might have in mind. Either way, I would text him and follow up on your previous proposal in order to get the ball rolling.
I'm 24 and I haven't dated yet. It'll happen when the time comes. I always look at it this way... When I meet the right guy it will make it extra special.
I am 22, I have never dated as well... No worries, you aren't weird. Why do you need alcohol to go out with him. He is gay, you are gay, you've exchanged numbers. Have you both disclosed to one another that you are gay? If yes, than I don't see a reason why you wouldn't you feel shy about it. If not, than just go out and tell him that you are gay... And if he is gay and interested he'll make the move. If he is not interested he won't make the move or give you signals, so you'll know that you are just friends. So, you'll move on... That's pretty much it...
I am 42 now, but I can tell you i didn't start dating until I was 24. The best advice I can give you, is to just be yourself. It's all about going and having fun ;-) The more you do it, the easier it gets
Ask him out. How you want to do that depends on what the two of you enjoy and what you want. You could just ask him to hang out, go to dinner, see a movie, go to a game, check out a museum, the possibilities are endless. As for your religious and political beliefs, that's also something that's dependent on you. Both are very sensitive topics for a lot of people and, because of that, many people would prefer a partner that agrees with them. However, that doesn't mean the relationship isn't going to work if you're not on the same page there. My girlfriend is a heavily left-leaning born Baptist now atheist and I'm a firm mid-line born Catholic still Christian. We don't agree on a lot of things, religion especially, but we also respect each others' views and just don't talk about it much. The main thing is how important religion and politics are to you and how important they are to him.
