I just need to start dating. I don't know any other way than online to meet guys. So I would like to start looking for guys. But I am anxious about it... I feel creepy and suspicious about looking for someone online, seeing their torso or penis, and not the face. I fear that once I meet them, they might be abusive, weird, psychopathic or something. I fear that if I am not interested in them, they might bother me, lie to me etc. I met one guy online, and went to his place. And he was nice, but I wasn't attracted to him, although he was immensely attracted to me. But he was weird, he collected skulls or something (him being an archaeologist)... Any advice, encouragements? I just feel guilty looking for a guy like that... Why can't things be normal, like for straight people...
Have you heard of ******? There are literally dating sites dedicated for christians to meet other christians and farmers to meet other farmers. Good news, everyone is having a tough time making the connections they desire! You have three main options. 1) Understand why you feel creepy looking at torsos or penises. Then come up with ways to tackle those issues so you don't have to carry shame or embarrassment using certain apps. 2) Only use websites or apps that don't allow naked pictures. They are out there. 3) Don't date online if you don't feel like it. Find your local community and start getting active. Show up to events, start groups, meet people in regular ways. You cannot hope to reach people the old fashion way, but then also not go out and meet people at different settings. If you aren't attracted to someone, feel free to not keep dating them or continue the date if you don't want. You can be nice to other people while also maintaining your own boundaries so you aren't too uncomfortable. I would highly encourage you to look into this more. This speaks to more deeper concerns that aren't directly connected to online dating.
I never went back to anybody's house on the first date. I kept everything very public...and I drove. If the person was creepy or made me feel uncomfortable I would end the date immediately. I would just say, "sorry, I'm not feeling a connection" and end it right there. If someone truly made me feel nerveous for my safety I would ditch them at the restaurant. And I would make no appologies for it. As far as online dating it is a good way to meet quanties of people. But you don't have to continue to date someone. Just meet up at some public place for a drink or coffee. See if you like them. If you do go to dinner....if not polietly excuse yourself.
Thanks guys... But what if someone starts stalking you? Sending you texts, or calling you? I am from Europe so it is irrelevant which websites I am using.
The chances of someone stalking you after a date are slim, and they are probably the exact same chances whether you meet them online or in person first. Couple of tips to meet online people: - Meet somewhere public first. Cup of coffee, movies, or anywhere where you can leave easily - Tell someone where you will be and when you should be back - Follow your gut feeling. If something doesn't feel right, then walk away. But for the most part, there aren't many risks to online dating. Specially as a gay man.
Message people for quite a bit online. Make sure you connect well and seem trustworthy. Then go for a date somewhere public. I always recommend coffee. It's cheap, ddoesn' have high expectations of who pays, and it lets you interact. A movie is a horrible first date
I would meetup with guys that live close to you. Guys that you share certain interests with, can be developed by messaging online. Perhaps have phone/skype/text/ first class mail conversations before you meet up? Best of luck.
So to sum it up, I am really paranoid and anxious. I should stop worrying. The chances that someone might be a psycho-killer are the same as meeting a straight person in a bar, or anyone online. Being in a gay chat room does not contribute to the features of being a stalker or a psychopath. Thank you!
From what I've heard, online dating is a load of crap. I came across this though; maybe it'll help. http://emptyclosets.com/forum/famil...king-relationship-simpler-than-you-think.html
