I'm tired. Basically my family has been trying to find a family therapist, so we've been going to all of these different therapists and psychologists or whoever, and that's on top of my regular therapist and my school social worker... I dunno, I don't feel like this whole family therapy thing is really helping. For one thing, I really don't like the new psychologist my family is trying. He jumps to conclusions too quickly, and he's really not all that perceptive. Like he thinks that he knows what everyone's thinking and feeling. And really? he doesn't. My brother agrees with me on that actually. Problem is my parents buy into everything he puts onto me, and they think I don't like him because he's "uncovering something about me that I don't like and that I'm trying to hide." I don't like the guy because he can't uncover anything about me; he just thinks he knows it all already. Well, he acts that way at least. As myself and my bro perceive it. To be honest? He treats me like a child. I'm nearly eighteen, and for the most part (I've been told) I'm more mature than most people my age in the level of understanding others and myself. He treats me like I'm a self centered child though. Sure, I won't say I'm not a bit self centered on my bad days, but I'm not immature about it, I don't think... I try to keep it to myself... Honestly I'll be most polite when people let me keep it to myself... There's the problem... I feel like my parents don't really trust me much to actually be honest. Hey I can take blame, I'm far from perfect, and I'm totally willing to admit that given any situation... I don't know... Maybe I express myself in the wrong way? Maybe it's some sort of vibe I give off? I really truly do try to get along with everyone. mostly that means keeping to my own things and keeping my mouth shut. It's only when people force me to talk that I can be rude. if they didn't pressure me for my utmost honest opinion, then I wouldn't give it to them! My mom pressures me into telling her everything though... It's exhausting. I'm not that good at lying. At least not at this point in my life. Even when I white lie, my mom can see right through it. There's no winning... Well this ended up just being an immature sounding rant. Ok ok so I'm kinda crabby right now, thousand apologies to you all. I'm so tired. Just want to go to sleep right now...
Family and couples therapy is among the hardest to do well, but that unfortunately doesn't keep a lot of incompetent therapists from trying to do it. If he's condescending toward you, jumping to conclusions, and putting words in your mouth... he's a shitty therapist. Talk to your own therapist about it and tell her you want an honest opinion, then try, as objectively as possible, to describe exactly what the family therapist said, as close to word for word as you can. Your therapist should be able to help you see whether or not this is a legitimate probelm. From the brief description you've given, it sounds like the guy isn't terribly competent. As far as your mother pressuring you... at your age, you're entitled to privacy and boundaries, and to not share everything with her. This, too, you should discuss with your therapist and perhaps have a session with you and your mom in which your therapist can help your mom to understand this. Many parents have difficulty understanding boundaries with their children who are nearing adulthood, and sometimes it takes a bit of outside intervention (and, sadly, sometimes, a swift kick in the ass, figuratively speaking) to get them to understand the issue.
I'm sure that he's plenty competent; Problem is, his methods don't work well for me. It probably works well for some people to have him reach conclusions quickly to move conversation along. I don't want to say he's doing his job wrong, I just don't think that he understands all that's necessary to get anything solved. Which to be fair, is a lot. I personally find it hard to share with him because he feels a bit like a stereotypical therapist robot except he interrogates you and then tells you what to do based on his conclusions. Again, I'm sure it works for some. Also to be fair, it's quite possible I exaggerated in my previous post. I'll still I stick to my point that he's not the right guy for me however.
I think that's what you need to tell your parents. 1. His style isn't working for you 2. You don't feel comfortable sharing with him Then ask to try someone else with a different therapy style. Approaching it that way may help
