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How do you find true love/your soul mate, etc etc

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by RahRahLM, May 29, 2016.

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  1. RahRahLM

    RahRahLM
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    Hey,

    Now speaking as someone who is still single at 26 and not ashamed to admit it, still a virgin at 26 (in terms of having a boyfriend/kissing/sex) one question continues to nag me in my mind.

    How do you go about finding "the one" or whatever term you prefer to use?

    As someone who is losing hope in the fact that he'll ever find true love I want some genuine answers or advice.

    Success a finding love?
    Advice on how to deal with never having found it?

    Does the possibility of never experiencing it scare you?

    I've tried online dating. Hell I'm currently still on one online dating site but it just seems pretty much fruitless. You answer all these compatibility questions and spits people back at guy who are meant to b compatible but on easing they profiles... This just isn't true. I'm
    a firm believer that personality wins out over looks any day.

    People just tell me to concentrate on my own life. Build it. Enjoy it. Go out with friends. Get the job you want. But I've been doing that and although I have friends I go out with and job prospects have significantly improved... I'm still missing that final elusive piece of the puzzle.


    So I ask... How do you find true love?

    I'll elaborate on things if need be but I'm just looking for genuine advice and answers. Being gay seems to make finding dates, true love and anything else difficult to impossible.

    And sadly... I'm losing hope I finding my prince :icon_sad::icon_sad::icon_sad:
     
    #1 RahRahLM, May 29, 2016
    Last edited: May 29, 2016
  2. Pi Fermat

    Pi Fermat
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    Finding your soulmate, life's biggest question. Wouldn't we all like to know.
    Don't dispair, this is a great difficulty of every one, straight, gay or otherwise. Many people who think they have found their true love in fact haven't. Many people get married and divorced.

    All I can suggest is get out there, and be socially active.

    I know it can be tough. Whilst you might think the opposite is true for bi people, they can choose from sooo many more people right? Well that would seem logical, but for me, I felt very conflicted, like I had to choose a side, straight or gay, before I could ask people out or find my love, and then what side my love would be. It sounds very silly, but it drove me mad. I found out (I accepted, in hindsight I repressed it subconsciously) I was bi after I fell for my first true love, my first BF, it was so magical, such true love, no undressing, so emotional something that I had never experienced before, a crush on a girl turned out not to be true love . But all this was snatched from me all too soon after my bf came out again as straight. It was like I had been hit by a car. I'm still broken up by it. But there is still time for you, the night is still young. Hope you find you prince!
     
    #2 Pi Fermat, May 29, 2016
  3. Chiroptera

    Chiroptera
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    http://emptyclosets.com/forum/famil...king-relationship-simpler-than-you-think.html

    This thread may help you.

    But, in advance: There is no big secret. As Pi Fermat said, what you can do is to get out there, be socially active (not in, or only, parties and bars, but in things that you enjoy doing with other people).

    Again, i really recommend the thread i linked, it may shed some light into this subject for you :wink:
     
    #3 Chiroptera, May 29, 2016
  4. Pi Fermat

    Pi Fermat
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    Thanks for sharing that great post
     
    #4 Pi Fermat, May 29, 2016
  5. RahRahLM

    RahRahLM
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    So is it worth me sticking with the online dating if it's something I'm not enjoying or don't particularly like.
    Am I buggering my chances by giving it up?
    Is it worth just keeping the profile active but not bothering a whole lot with it?
     
    #5 RahRahLM, May 29, 2016
  6. Chiroptera

    Chiroptera
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    If you don't enjoy it, you should try other activities, like i said (and like the post i linked mentions).

    You can always come back to it if you think it is worth another try.
     
    #6 Chiroptera, May 29, 2016
  7. SemiCharmedLife

    SemiCharmedLife
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    You don't try to find your soulmate. You meet people, date people, and let whatever happens happen. If you go in looking for a soulmate you'll make things way more anxiety-provoking and way less fun, and generally more difficult.
     
    #7 SemiCharmedLife, May 29, 2016
  8. RahRahLM

    RahRahLM
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    So online dating? Yay or nah... I'm unsure whether to keep it up...
     
    #8 RahRahLM, May 30, 2016
  9. bryaninau

    bryaninau
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    I am so glad I am not alone don'e feel bad I too am almost 26 and a virgin myself you are in good company. Finding love is different for all it tends to happy when it wants to, some meet in collage, some in public settings, others are mutual friends with another, it really depends on the person. Online dating can help you reach more people in a wider radius, its really up to you if you want to keep going. However I remember reading a statistic that most gay couples meet their soulmates online. just something to keep in mind.
     
    #9 bryaninau, May 31, 2016
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