I'm having a really hard time trying to live, I'm so in loved of a guy, the first guy I have been with.. We had intercourse in several occasions, but he does not want a relationship. at least, with me. I'm new in this gay world, all my friends are straight, and since I came out there has been a breach. I'm always alone, expecting to find answers and deep down expecting this guy to come over and finally love me. this is not going to happen. He is a player, he told me after that he don't want to hurt my feelings, and that with him I will only gonna suffer. the thing is I don't relate at all with the gay world, I was in the scouts, in rugby, I'm sort of intelectual but this guys and many just seems to care about sex and self image. I'm very depressed cause I can not stop loving him and I can relate with the gay normativity. I came out with everyone but I dont have a gay life or any sort of life. Im just hidden. For example today there was a bear weekend festival and my brains are exploting imaging this guy in orgies and with all this people.. I don't need this The problem is that if I'm really gone this guy always try to reach me after a while.. I can't rest and I can not cut ties cause I'm unable of being rude with him .. please help
Re: This could kill me The relationship is clearly unhealthy, so you're going to have to find a way. I can't help you navigate your feelings, however, I can give you some advice that was given to me and has been very helpful. I understand the feelings of isolation, I haven't come out yet and it's just as alone as you not having anyone to relate to. Go to Google and do a search for an LGBT center near you. If there is one, go. They can help you get into the new world that you're unsure of and help you make friends within that world. That's one good step to not feeling so alone, and to also help you get that toxic guy out of your mind. There's other ways to immerse yourself into the world, but this is a great start that I highly recommend. Good Luck, Kyboan P.S. Keep your head up, all love that ends badly suck, but you'll soon get over it with time. Just hang in there!
Let me ask is this you first relationship with someone? If it is its usually the hardest one to go through, what you need to do is give yourself time and space away from this guy and it will get easier. Also I half to agree a lot of guys just want sex, and it seems like you are like me. We want a relationship with someone that last and is meaningful.
