how long has it tooken you guys to get over sumone u thought u were in love with? i ask this becuz its been almost 5 months since i stopped talking to this girl who by the way had a girlfriend but she led me on and made me believe she felt the same for me...i still think about her everyday and miss her and it makes me wonder if this is truely love or if i was addicted to her sumhow therefore very unhealthy? like i agree its unhealthy to not be able to move on but my mind confuses fantasy for reality all too often such as "sum day maybe shell come back to me" ugh i feel pathetic :icon_redf..how does one deal with this?? how do i move on?
It took me two years to get over my husband after he packed up and left me in the middle of the night. I thought I was over him before that but I ended up with a controlling, manipulating person who hit me. I had him arrested and after he was gone I finally had time to think and realize I STILL wasn't over my husband so I took another year alone to myself, soul searching. Separations are never easy and there is no time frame. You'll know when you're ready to move on. Don't feel pathetic, because you're not. What finally made me get over my ex-husband was I actually met up with him again after the abuser left my life and I finally realized . . . this isn't the life I want. I don't want him anymore. And it was the most freeing feeling. Definitely don't sit waiting for somebody to come back to you, that isn't healthy. Get out there and be around good people, have good positive influences around you. That is what you need right now
Same situation, with a guy though. 2 weeks and counting ;( Honestly, I wanna give myself at least 6 months, then 6 more if I'm still not over it. I'm not ready to feel that intense again. Nearly every song I listened to during that period of my life is a goddamn trigger for crying now. Not fun.
yes! i feel u!...everything seems to remind me of her and its been that long already, thats why im wondering if maybe its an addiction or sumthing...idk how to handle it really, like its not as intense anymore but sumtimes i still cry about it
First time it took me 3 years and we were never even in any relationship emotionally or physically! I just really liked the girl and she happened to be very straight It was by far the worst 3 years in my life. I always thought there was something wrong with me b/c most of the time it takes people a few months to move on from a crush right... It definitely felt like an addiction and the stupid me kept feeding it by reminding myself how happy I was around her.
aww im so sorry(*hug*)...if it makes u feel any better my first crush (like u, wasnt emotionally or physically involved, and she liked me told me she thought she was les and that she liked me and wanted to mess around and i got scared and started avoiding her even tho i deeply deeply liked her i was too shy) it took me 8 years...and i lived with the regret during that time...i fear that itll take me this long if not longer with this last girl and fuk i cant take it anymore its just not fair u kno? this is totally an addiction and codependency and i dont kno how im suppost to deal with it...
It takes time for the pain to go away and you need to put a lot of effort into the process of moving on. In the days and weeks immediately after a relationship breakdown you may be too upset to contemplate anything else, and that's to be expected, but if you intend to recover and rebuild your life it's important to take small steps forward as soon as you can and build upon them. Not easy, but very necessary. The very worst thing you can do after a break up is to check up on what your ex is doing or maintain contact with them. If it's over, it's over. Texting, emailing, viewing their social media accounts or even driving past their place maintains the attachment, and if the person really hurt you it continues to feed the distress as they maintain a certain hold over you. Sometimes you need to tell yourself that it's over and accept it, no matter how hard it may be. At some point in the future you may be able to be friends, but it's a thought you should put out of your mind until you have fully recovered and moved on. In some cases it's just not possible. Be kind to yourself and try not to wallow, because wallowing can suck you into a long, drawn out process and put life on hold. That's not good.
Thanks I am all good now. I had a few more one-sided crushes after the first one and in order to get over them faster, I did pretty much everything that PatrickUK suggested (I cut off contact with them as completely as possible. I did not show up at places/events where I knew they would be the center of the attention. I tried making a separate group of friends.) It definitely helped but it still took me 1-2 years to get over each and everyone of them. So when most people spend their 18-28 age period trying to find love or trying to maintain a relationship, I spent that much time trying to get over all my crushes. Oh well.
aww:icon_sad: so what about now? how r u doing now, r u "free" or have the feelings found sumone else? for me, the only way to truely move on from a crush was to find sumone else i liked then all those emotions sorta reset and i crushed on this new person...how unhealthy is this?..:icon_redf...if u are 'free' right now (like not crushing on anybody and no sad feelings about the last one, how did u do it?) PatrickUK: thank u, ur right, i need to tell myself its over amd believe it...thats the hardest part, realizing she never gave a fuk about me...i stopped talking to her complelty and changed my number the minute after she told me she hated me and wanted me gone, (she was drunk so i still wonder if she meant it, and by changing my number i never gave her the opportunity to find out but i felt she deserved it at the time) ...i stopped viewing her fb when i saw she got engaged and realized that i was only torturing myself by doing do...ur right tho, i need to take small steps and build on them, how do i start/where do i start? i dont have friends really simce i decided to go sober
aww:icon_sad: so what about now? how r u doing now, r u "free" or have the feelings found sumone else? for me, the only way to truely move on from a crush was to find sumone else i liked then all those emotions sorta reset and i crushed on this new person...how unhealthy is this?..:icon_redf...if u are 'free' right now (like not crushing on anybody and no sad feelings about the last one, how did u do it?) PatrickUK: thank u, ur right, i need to tell myself its over amd believe it...thats the hardest part, realizing she never gave a fuk about me...i stopped talking to her complelty and changed my number the minute after she told me she hated me and wanted me gone, (she was drunk so i still wonder if she meant it, and by changing my number i never gave her the opportunity to find out but i felt she deserved it at the time) ...i stopped viewing her fb when i saw she got engaged and realized that i was only torturing myself by doing do...ur right tho, i need to take small steps and build on them, how do i start/where do i start? i dont have friends really simce i decided to go sober
thrashgal, yes I have been crush free for more than a year now (maybe 2 years?). I understand what you meant by crushing on a new person. I actually tried to force myself to develop some kind of feelings for random people when I was in the darkest moment of my hopeless crush because I thought I could 'cure myself' this way. It never worked for me though. I guess it is one of those things you can't force... How did I do it? It is mostly time and some (actually a lot of) alcohol No don't get back into drinking if you have decided to quit. I think alcohol has been shown to worsen your mental state if you are already sad or depressed. Anyway, other than those, I also spent a lot of time complaining about my misery to my friends. Of course there is a balance, everyone has their own problems and you don't want to burden your friends too much. I am sorry that you feel you have no friends now. I am going to point out the obvious: if they ditch you b/c you decided to choose a different (and healthier) lifestyle, they were never your true friends. You should probably start finding new friends, which is also very hard once you are out of school. But like you said, baby steps
it was alittle over a year..she sorta strung me along while with her girlfriend and i stuck around becuz i really really liked her..she made me feel like i had a chance, telling me things like "when i get my own place (she lived with her gf and her gf's parents) then u can come stay as long as u want..." then wed talk about what itd be like to be together, just stuff like that...and it didnt help when we first met she wanted to mess around with me (i didnt want to but did it becuz she wanted to) ...i kno i kno, if she cheats on her shed cheat on me...i just want to get over her and the idea of her and i dont kno how to do it without finding sumone else to move the feelings onto... ---------- Post added 4th Jun 2016 at 06:23 PM ---------- well any tips besides boozin haha:lol: god i wanna drink hella bad too
