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Gay and Religion

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by still life, Jun 5, 2016.

  1. still life

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    Today is the official start of Ramadan, the Muslim fasting month where Muslim around the world refrained from consuming food and water from dawn to dusk. I live in a Muslim country ( not Saudi Arabia, people don't get stoned to death where I live ). But Islam is still important, I have conceded along time ago that religion and I, is not compatible. Here is how I feel like a huge fraud, I still fast during Ramadan ( I just take it as a month long diet). I still sometimes participate in religious activities, prayers and such. You just have to, for your family and social reason. I'm sure many have similar experience, keeping a facade for family. Its just been emotionally draining. Not to mentioned the fact I can never come out to them.
     
  2. Jax12

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    Yesterday I went to my city's pride, and to my surprise, there were some people holding up signs like "Jesus is coming", or "He died for our sins", etc. It certainly was unexpected, but at the same time it wasn't anything new either.

    There's always going to be a battle between religion and sexuality. I use to go to a Christian church, so I can understand where you are coming from despite having a different religion than yours. But with that said, there are religious groups out there that include the LGBT+ community as well.
     
  3. PatrickUK

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    I don't know if it helps, but you could compare your thoughts about Ramadan to the Christian festival of Christmas. In parts of the world where Christianity is the dominant religion, almost everybody, including most gay people, celebrate the season of Christmas whether they believe or not. They may not celebrate from the traditional religious perspective or attend church, but they still see it as a season of goodwill and exchange cards and gifts.

    I know Ramadan has a different significance to the Muslim world, but maybe if you can re-imagine what it's about, you will find a better way of coping with it. For example, you've re-imagined the fast as a month long diet (not such a bad thing) and maybe you can see the prayers as a personal process of sending out goodwill, rather than petitioning of God to perform religious miracles. The wider aims of Ramadan (reflection and self control) are not bad things for any human practice.

    If you can re-imagine Ramadan and use it for personal and psychological gain, it might be easier for you.
     
  4. Ram90

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    You don't have to believe exclusively, deeply or intimately about the ideals of a religion to be a part of it. You can decide how little or lot you want to do with the "ideals". I don't let anyone dictate how I wish to practice Hinduism. I do it on my terms and my parents know it. They don't ask me to pray in the prayer room everyday or visit a temple. I pray when I choose to and I go to a temple when I want to. We stopped celebrating most festivities a long time ago, we just seek blessings from god nowadays. My mom claims to do enough prayer and rituals for all of us, so that we don't have to spend time doing it everyday. So I have the freedom to practice as little as I want.

    So you don't have to feel bad. No one is questioning your faith or the lack of it. As long as you know you are truthful to yourself there is no reason to question is a deity/supreme power or people around you question it. You are pure to yourself. Nothing else matters. :slight_smile:

    EDIT-

    I agree with what Patrick says. In my family we like to do something, we make a sweet dish on major festivities. It becomes Prasadam (Holy offering) after our prayer and rituals. We offer it to people in our neighborhood. Everyone, despite their religion or beliefs. We believe that it is your belief. You can take the holy offering believing it is a holy offering, or you can take it as what it is, we are offering you a sweet item (a dessert) on the occasion of a festive day. That's it :wink:
     
    #4 Ram90, Jun 6, 2016
    Last edited: Jun 6, 2016
  5. Kevinswan

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    This is basically me. You can see where I come from below my profile. And yes, I'm muslim and gay. This is muslim country, people other than heterosexual get bashed, bullied, exiled, or even stoned to death ( yes it happens sadly, in 1-2 province). Luckily I'm not in any of those. But still, if I come out to anyone ( I repeat, ANYONE), I will get bashed and threated lower than the lowest society. But let me tell you this: Homosexuality and Homosexual act DIFFERS.

    Homosexuality : Romantic attraction, sexual attraction or sexual behavior between members of the same sex or gender.

    Homosexual acts : romantic physical contact between members of the same sex or gender. ( Homosexuals acts include, baking, but are not limited to, blowjobs, handjobs, anal fingering, light petting, nipple twisting, manicures, kissing (when two men kiss) anal sex, rim jobs, fisting, and watersports to name a few.)

    I'm not extremely religious, but I do pray, read Qur'an, fast, and any other islamic activities. I can surely say if you dont make any romantic physical contact, it is fine. Qur'an forbids muslim to commit such acts, either inside or outside marriage (gay marriage exists). If by just looking at handsome men turns you on, as long as you do not commit sinful acts such as I mentioned above, you do not sin. it is totally fine. You do not make yourself gay. You WERE and you always will be. It is not your fault. Send me PM if you have anything in mind, I will gladly help you based on my experience and true story.
     
    #5 Kevinswan, Jun 6, 2016
    Last edited: Jun 6, 2016
  6. Kira

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    ...I can relate, to an extent.

    I pretended to still be religious for about five or so years after I stopped believing. It's a big thing in many countries, and a lot of families don't take kindly to their children branching off into other ways of thought.

    Despite disagreeing with my family, I continued to hold up the act and even go to church and go along with it. It's very draining, and eventually I had to come out and most stopped speaking to me. Sort of living a lie takes a lot out of you, but considering your location I don't advise doing it unless you were to leave for a more open-minded area.

    I can't do much, but hopefully I can at least wish you luck..?