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Honest opinion

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Emerald79, Jun 7, 2016.

  1. Emerald79

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 6, 2016
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    Location:
    York
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Hi want honest opinion pls, I am a single lesbian and I now am. Mummy to a newborn, I had a rough pregnancy from start to finish hence my regular visits to see the locum that was on maternity cover for a year,she had at the time meeting her a 6month old her first child.
    I suffered with sickness day and night and made regular visits to check on my thyroid and the sickness meds.
    She was brilliant and never thought anything of it at the time but I had the first 4 month off from work and although the procedure after a month is I don't need a doctors app to renew a sick note she wud insist on me visiting her to check see how I'm doing etc, she was always the dr who called with updates on my thyroid levels and wud ask my how I was doing etc and at same time giving advice as not to listen to any horror stories about birth etc and wud give me tips on breast feeding etc.
    We wud chat like long lost friends and always have a Gud laugh and she wud tease me always which helped take my mind of feeling so sick.
    Then I called the dr receptionist after I just had my baby who was a week old to see what quantity I should now take in meds to my surprise she called me and was over the moon for me which was so sweet and insisted I bring my baby to see her for a cuddle.
    When I had my baby there was a few medical issues so on my 6 wk check I made the app with her, well soon as I saw her she lifted the baby out of the pram hugged me and made a fuss of us both she checked over my baby and asked if I ever thought about what the donor looked like etc then I said I had some embryos frozen and she said ishould ace more children I said u first as her child was a year old and we joked. She said she wasn't having any more and I said oh every1 says that it was then she said her and her baby's dad wasn't getting on and she feels like a single parent and wished she had done what I had. She then told me she was due to leave in the May and I said I was gutted she then thanked me for the Thanku card I had sent when I had my baby and then she said I was like a breath of fresh air I cud see she wanted to say or do something like a desperation in her face she seemed nervous and just as I was about to leave she said come here for a cuddle I was taken back but obliged I said I can't believe I won't see u again to which she said well u never know u may need me before I go.At 8 wks my baby seemed to reacting to the milk at my wits end and several trips to the hospital she called me and offered support then I one weekend it got so bad I booked in to see her the following wk no other doctors helping well when she saw me she put her arms round me and when behind the dr room she pulled asked if I wanted a cuddle but didn't ace time to answer as she pulled me in and she hugged me tight and she rubbed her hands from my upper back to my lower back but squeezing like caressing me it was then I felt this rush of feelings for her after 5 mins we sat and chatted and she said I'll put u on the med milk see how I go she also said u got to get out a bit and she said do I have to come round and drag u out of the house because I will she said and to come back in 2 wks I said well is booked in already to see u in a wks time but can change it as I won't see u then she said no come back in a wk to see me.
    I then plucked up the courage and said I don't want to put u on the spot and I won't be offended if u say no but I wud like to stay in touch etc as u won't be my dr anymore in a wks time she immediately said and smiled I'd love to I fact I was going to ask u that, she said I can pick u up and take u and the baby along with her son in the car etc as I don't drive.
    She said I've got your number on the system.
    A wk later I went back to see her which turned out to be her last day she seemed sad and I don't know like she had this desperation on her face, by this time I had feelings for her but wud never act on them as I valued her counting my blessings she wud be in my life didn't want to tell her how I felt plus she wasn't single.
    Told her milk was working and j felt better and that she was a sweet natured woman and asked her for a hug but it was a air hug kind of I said u won't forget to which she replied no.
    It's been 3 wks and I haven't heard from her, I'm sure by chance I saw her the other day in her car but I'm confused I can't have Mia judged her feelings it felt more than a dr or friendship developing.
    Advice pls what's your take on this?
    Trying to move on but I'm confused why I haven't heard from her I'm just guessing different things but I can tell if some1 doesn't want to keep in contact and just says it so it's not awkward but going on what I've told u this surely isn't the case?
    Nothing I can do about it as I don't have any contact details of hers but know she lives in next village pls opinions and advice pls, do u think she was attracted to me?