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Lonelyyyy

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Eolwen, Jun 11, 2016.

  1. Eolwen

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Wavre
    Gender:
    Androgyne
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    I'v just been feeling really reeeeeeeeally lonely lately. The problem is that I don't have anyone to talk to about being gay... My friends are all aware of my sexuality so I can discuss my problems with them but none of them are gay, or even apart of the LGBT community. Most of them are kinda uneducated about it... And I'd really love to meet someone who has gone through the same kind of problems as me, someone who knows what it feels like to be gay. I do know a couple of gay people, but they are all guys and waaaay older than me, which makes it more complex for me to connect. Bottom line is : I'm the only lesbian I know, and that's not a lot.

    I thought about trying to go out more in gay bars or something but I'm not really a party-animal to begin with, and I don't fancy going on my own, especially when all the gay bar I could find are not close to where I live.

    So yeah, this is starting to drag me down a lot... I just don't want to be alone all the time, but I'm not sure what I could do. Please help!
     
  2. yuanzi

    Full Member

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    Location:
    Upstate NY
    I don't have any lgbt friends irl either. Luckily my straight friends are all supportive and I spend a significant amount of time discussing/complaining about my problems with them. I have of course met other lgbt people (bars, lgbt oriented social events, etc), but since I am not friends with them, the discussions were mostly about generic non-controversial stuff like animals, school work, traveling, favorite foods... so yeah I have never carried out an lgbt related conversation with a non-straight person.

    I sometimes wish I could have a close gay/lesbian friend. But I truly don't think I will say anything to them that I haven't said to my straight friends. I know there is always the assumption that since they are gay, they will relate to my problems better. Maybe. Maybe not. We all come from different upbringings and they might share less in common with me than my straight friends. So yeah I try not to be too sad about it.

    But it would be a totally different matter if like you said, your friends are uneducated. I don't know how uneducated they are. It would be annoying if they get uncomfortable and try to change the topic. However, if they are at least understanding and sympathetic, you can probably work on educating them :slight_smile:

    As for meeting and making lgbt friends, I am sure you already know the common venues (bars, social events/gatherings). However, for me personally, it is very hard to make and retain any friend from social events if I don't at least run into them from time to time in my daily life (gay or straight).
     
  3. laviedadele

    Full Member

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    Location:
    UK
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I'm the same. I have come out to a couple of gay guy friends/acquaintances, and their support has been great and really helped, but I really want to meet other lgbt girls, to help me accept myself.

    I have been chatting to this girl I went on a date with for a few months, I doubt it's going anywhere, but it's been important to meet a girl who is just a normal person, similar to me, attractive in my eyes, popular and confidently out.

    I don't know if its helpful to you but my plan is to join an lgbt society, try to go with the gay guys I know to gay bars (although I know there aren't many lesbians there), pride, try to get my straight friends to come with me (would yours?), and join some clubs/societies that are more liberal. I feel the people engaging in volunteering and political activities are less straight, and i'm quite drawn to that (are you?), possibility because subconsciously I feel they're my people.
     
  4. Eolwen

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Wavre
    Gender:
    Androgyne
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Thank you for your comments!

    Yuanzi : I'll try educating my friends, I suppose ^^ It's just that they don't always see why some things matter so much to me (like having more representation, battling dysphoria, being supportive of anyone in the LGBT community....) But I guess if I'm more open they'll end up seing what I mean... :/

    Laviedadele : I'm not sure my friends would come with me, but I totally get what you mean when you say that liberal people attract you. I feel like I'd be more understood there for some reason. ^^