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how to deal with homophobia?

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by silverdeer, Jun 12, 2016.

  1. silverdeer

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    so for summer I will be going to be at my grandma's house (and I have for a few years now).

    Anyways with lgbt being in the news more and stuff she constantly says homophobic things in front of me.

    Also even though I have came out she acts like I am not gay. Is she in denial? She tried making me think I wasn't gay when I first came out.

    Anyways I am there for like 3 months and we leave in a few days and well I just want to know how to deal with her homophobia. I should also mention I am shy so while I want to ask her kindly to stop talking like that around me it seems scary to ask.
     
  2. Pockettail

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    I feel your pain with having to put up with homophobic relatives. My grandpa is pretty much as bad as it gets, racist, homophobic, ect ect. But the best way to avoid his rants is to purposely dissuade topics that might trigger those types of reactions, talk about simple things that have no relevance to gay folks or topics about Isis, politics ect. This is mostly for your mental health at this point and if you get into a full blown fight it'll only hurt because homophobic folks tend to be stubborn. I don't have experience in being out around someone who's homophobic though, but when I do have to deal with it I like having my friends on the other side of my phone to text so I can calm down. Knowing someone is there to support you can make a world of a difference.
     
  3. silverdeer

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    Thanks Pocket. Tonight she told me that her and my papa (just found out she told my papa before) that they will try not to say rude stuff but that they don't accept it but they still love me. We also talked about how I feel towards guys for like 2 hours and yeah.

    Hope all goes well this summer.
     
  4. Ravens

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    Hi silverdeer,

    Personally, in this situation I think the best option may be to steer clear of topics which may lead to potential homophobic attitudes being displayed, in order to prevent any negative effects to your emotional health. If a discussion does start, and you feel comfortable enough to, just simply excuse yourself if you feel unable to ask her to stop, so that you don't have to listen to anything that might upset you. In my experience, it can take people a while to come to terms with and accept LGBT+ individuals, which is frustrating but it's all part and parcel of attitude change. Just continue to be yourself and hopefully, with time, your grandma will start to see that you're still you and may (fingers crossed) promote more accepting attitudes. I wish you all the best!