Encouragement for online dating...

Hey.

You have not started too late. I started online dating when I was 21, but didn't seriously start looking until last year. There are a lot of people on online dating sites and you have to fish through a lot of people before you find people you connect with. I found my boyfriend through a dating website and we have been together four months now. I am not the most attractive person but I was able to find someone who loves me for me. There ar some decent people out there. Good luck!

 

One of the best things about it is you can be picky before you even contact someone. But once you do, it can get difficult with all the "ghosting" and whatnot. Hang in there and mind your search terms and you'll find someone.

 

There's apparently a lot of tall guys in the Netherlands
Being in France, you have the ability to look in other countries.

Unfortunately a lot of successful dating is about being in the right place at the right time - whether it be geographically or digitally.

Also, 22 isn't too old at all. You're in your prime man!

 

Online dating is a numbers game, the more approaches you make, the better the prospects of finding someone. But to another point posted above, you need to make a lot of approaches.

Some advice: There are people online to find relationships, there are people on line just for sex. Those there just for sex might be the nicest guys in the real world, but online their inner animal instincts come out. When you get rejections, and some might be harsh, from those whom are there just for sex, do not let it get to you, just block the person and move on.

Expect a lot of rejection, it will come in all shapes and sizes, but DO NOT let it get to you. This will are ordinary course and does not reflect on the type of person you are.

When you find someone whom engages and seems to have similar objects, go with the flow and see how it goes. As you already suggested, try not to set to many limitations. And try not to rely solely on someones profile picture. Be sure to read their bios, learn as much about them before you reach out. Through the discussion establish if you have commonality of interests. And if it all lines up, go have a coffee.

To get to that point, you will need to look at a large number of fish in the preverbial pond.

 

Hey man. Well I'm sorry to say this, but in the last 5-ish years (by my guess) dating online has become much more difficult, not better. It's going to take people like you to make things better.

You're right on about a few things:

A lot of guys are being irrationally picky. It's one thing to want someone who's cute and attractive. It's another thing to only talk to guys who are 6'2 to 6'5 and have brown eyes and are +/- 2 years of your age. Just statistically its nearly impossible that your exact perfect match exists within 50 miles of your house. Guys who limit themselves that much are not only causing themselves pain (by forcing themselves to stay alone and wait for the impossibly perfect person) but also causing others pain (because everyone you reject, even if you do it nicely, it hurts them at least a little, it stings.)

The gay community is just like every other community. Think about all the guys in your high school or college. A small number of them are really attractive. The majority have some attractive features about them. A small number really are out-of-shape or need to give themselves some TLC about self-care and body care. So the gay community (just because we're gay) does not mean everyone is a supermodel. That's not rational thinking. Here is a video of Los Angeles' gay pride parade, sure there are a lot of attractive guys who are drawn to that kind of event, but jump ahead to other parts of the video. There are all ages, all sizes, all shapes of people.

Widen your range as much as you're comfortable with. I'm not saying you have to talk to people who are revolting to you, and I'm not saying you have to "settle" for someone you don't find attractive. But make your range as wide as you're possibly comfortable with. So be willing to go a few years older or younger than your ideal. Don't judge people based on things they can't change. You can learn to adapt to someone who's a few inches shorter than you or who doesn't have the best haircut or wear the right brands. If you have good fitness or fashion habits you can teach that person if you really care about them! Help others up.

Yes there are guys who have decided they only want to screw, and not have any emotional relationship. But, at the same time, you never know. When you read some gay authors, like Dan Savage's columns, he gets letters from couples who met just to bang, but ended up liking each other and then loving each other and then marrying each other. So who knows. I don't think its awful that there are guys who are just out for sex. But they shouldn't pressure you into doing something you're not comfortable with. You choose what you do and don't do.

One of my very best friends, the first friend I met in the gay community actually, was attractive, hot, athletic, charismatic, really amazing. And he talked to EVERYONE. I mean, everyone. That was the great thing about him. He was humble, always willing to listen and be a friend. As a result he always had friends. Even for him it was hard to find the "right" guy that he wanted to date. But he was never alone, and he always had people who cared about him. And some of those friends connected him to people they knew, so eventually he did find someone he dated for a good while. To have friends you have to be a friend. So it starts with you