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I am struggling with sexuality whilst in a straight relationship.

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by nonamegirl, Jun 25, 2016.

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  1. nonamegirl

    nonamegirl
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    I am new and I'm not sure if I have put this in the right thread lol.

    I am a girl, 24, in a relationship with a guy, also 24, and have been for nearly six years. Even before I got with him, I knew I was questioning my sexuality but I chose to ignore the attraction I had towards girls as I knew I was also into guys. I chose to focus on the latter because it was 'easier'...

    But I am almost certain I am bisexual.

    For the first few years everything was fine. I guess you could say this is typical of the honeymoon stage in any kind of relationship. But I have always hidden my attraction towards girls. It is only recently I have tried to embrace it more and have been more open about my attraction towards them, even to my boyfriend. I thought being more open would help the situation but it hasn't. Perhaps it has even made it worse because now I feel I am really struggling with my sexuality. There have been times when I have been close to tears over it all. At first I believed my attraction towards girls was only sexual but I am now fantasising about being with a girl physically and emotionally. The whole thing.

    We have had a lot of issues within our relationship, especially for the past year. We have nearly broken up on several occasions. I had an online thing with a girl which did not go down well with my boyfriend and rightly so. But I couldn't help myself. I was far too curious to make it stop. That was until I had to stop for the sake of my relationship.

    I remember speaking to my friends one night about the girl I was speaking to online and I remember one saying 'so there is this whole other side of you, you could potentially never get to know and understand'. I was surprised with how sad I felt after hearing that.

    I know it shouldn't matter whether I am with a girl or a guy as long as we love each other and I do love him as an individual but the emptiness, confusion and unhappiness that comes with not being able to explore a (big) part of me isn't going away. In fact it's getting more prominent. But then the thought of losing such a beautiful person who I love also makes me sad.

    Thanks in advance for any advice.
     
    #1 nonamegirl, Jun 25, 2016
  2. 108

    108
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    I'm not going to be much help, but I came to this website with a nearly identical issue, only I'm male and in a relationship with a female. Just know you aren't alone, there's other with the same struggle. You worded it so much more concisely than I could.
     
    #2 108, Jun 25, 2016
  3. nonamegirl

    nonamegirl
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    Thanks for commenting. I hope you are also able to find happiness either way.
     
    #3 nonamegirl, Jun 25, 2016
  4. SpTara

    SpTara
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    Hello, I've never been is such a situation and seeing it from outside, I think you need to figure out a few things.

    For example, you say you love him but, do you want to keep being in a romantic relationship with him? When I split up with my last gf, I still loved her, just it was not as my lover, but as a human being, as a friend. And if you feel frustrated for not exploring this part of you... Why don't you try? You don't want to hurt him but if this feelings, this need is there... It's because of something. Maybe you should tell him that and try with a girl.
     
    #4 SpTara, Jun 26, 2016
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