Hi! I just 'graduated' from my freshman year and I was in denial of liking men since mid-way through 7th grade year, but just a few months ago I finally came to terms that I was gay and I felt relived. I only just recently came out too three friends that I know are very good at keeping secrets. And In the last month or so of school, when I realized that I was gay, I started to allow myself to look at guys at my school more and think of them out of school (not in the naughty way:lol. In the last week of school, the entire freshman class went on a cruise around the Seattle bay area, Long story short one of my best friends (who was dressed very handsomely for this special occasion) and I did the titanic thing at the front of the ship as a joke. This made me see him in a much different way because he held me very close with his groin to my butt and his arms around my waist. Even though it was not that significant, I couldn't stop thinking of that when I got home, and the next day (Saturday) I just longed for his touch all day. What I am trying to get at here is that, that event made me realize just how lonely I really am, I mean ive never even held another mans hand in an emotional way and only ever dated a girl for one week just to keep up appearances. Now that it is summer, I can't depend on going to school every day to have my friends keep me happy. Also me and my family are not close, like at all, at least with my cousins and aunt (i live with my cousins and mom and aunt). I feel extremely depresed all the time now and very VERY lonely. Even though ive never been a very physical or emotional person before, all I want is to cuddle with a mildly strong man all day and just watch tv with him, or do what ever but I just feel so lonely and all i want is a man to call mine.(*hug*) Plz help! I don't know what to do. (srry that this is so poorly written I am very tired):help:
Highschool is a sucky time - particularly gay people. Our dating pool is incredibly small, and a lot of potential mates aren't out yet. Many of us had to hide who we were in highschool, and it's not uncommon to go the 4 years without dating. Once you get out, there's a wider world out there: college, gay bars, dating sites....
I'm with Guitar on this one. I recently graduated high school, and let me tell you, I feel so much less lonely already.
thanks guys that really help and ps you sound pretty hot guitar judging by your interests :icon_wink:icon_wink
I'll be honest with you i am a junior in high school, and have the same feeling. now im out to most people, but i don't really fit any of the gay stereotypes that annoy most straight people, so it doesn't bother them, but i look around and try to see who else is gay and the pool to do so is so little. So yeah i get the feeling and it sucks, but I've been told it gets better after highschool. Until then i guess we are lonely together xD
Exactly how I feel man even when I told those few people, they were so stunned that they even had to sit down, even after that it took them like five minutes of me trying to convince them in order for them to believe me. If you ever want to talk about it man just PM me!
I'm an incoming freshman. I came out at the beginning of my eighth grade year. Some say that's too young to know, but who knows who I am best, other than me? I've known ever since I can remember. Don't see the fuss. Other than the occasional 'fag' remark every once and a while in the locker room, I've been pretty happy this year, being able to be myself. I'm no stranger to loneliness, but surrounding myself with my best friends has helped a bit. Just have to wait and see how highschool goes. Hopefully I'll find a dude, maybe go on a few dates. We'll see ,xD. Like ThetasTrust, I'm not the stereotypical gay dude, so I don't seem to bother most straight people. They actually don't believe me when they find out I'm gay xD. Like multiple people have said, the dating pool is damn microscopic. Just wanted to share, wish all you guys luck on finding the right guy.
Hi and I share your pain. I went to a boys school and had many crushes but never acted on them. I regret that to this day. Im old now and still in the closet and its dark and lonely in here. Im also internalised homophobic, it means that I hate myselff and my sexuality, Im ashamed and disgusted with myself but am so proud and pleased that other gays seem so comfortable with themselves. Im also bi polar and suffered real bad abuse as a child. Fxxxd at 9 and raped at 17, I blame myself. Be happy please, be yourself and be proud. That way you WILL find love and happiness. Dont be a waste of space like me X
i am so sorry that this is happening to you and I hope that you one day soon find true happiness! And thank you for saying these things
You aren't a waste of space You sound like you're a wonderful person with a terrible past- there are lots of people like that. That doesn't make you any less awesome.
I lived in Seattle for many years, so I know my way around the place. I have two suggestions for you. First, since you are not quite a senior in high school, I can't just say "wait until college" (assuming you intend to go there). So, for now, I suggest that you look on a search engine for "Lambert House," or lamberthouse-dot-org. This is a social services organization that provides a welcoming environment and a place for gay youth under 22 years of age. There are people there who you can talk with, and I think they will make you feel welcome. Seattle has other organizations, too, that are similar to this one--but start there. The second suggestion I have is, if you do go to college, you'll find student organizations that can help you feel like you fit in. This will provide relief from the high school isolation, on a longer term basis. I know that isolation well--I was an outcast and felt alone, for a lot of reasons--some unrelated to your issues. Seattle has a reputation as a liberal place. This should not be taken too seriously. While it may be liberal, it is harder than average to make friends there. This is why I suggest you start with an organization such as the one I suggested above. Please don't continue to feel alone and adrift in that high school. Please go outside that environment, and see if you can make some new friends on the outside. You don't deserve to be so isolated and alone.
Hi, I haven't logged in for awhile here. If you can, please check back and let us know how you are doing.
Hi guys I am just checking back in from the request above, and I've gotta say life is looking great for me. I have started cross fit again just last week and have found a few of my friends are doing it as well, I am now regularly hanging out with my friends at the movies or at the bowling ally, and I am also doing a lot of community service and volunteering events with my FFA chapter. I am glad to say that I have finally gone past my depression completely and I feel AMAZING! Also alot of my female friends are coming to me for relationship and sexual advice and always leave happy, and I love the gossip and drama so that makes me happy too. Ohh I almost forgot, I have just recently found my self in a bit of a 'friends with benefits' relationship which has got me siked! (he is big enough to deep throat, 7 1/4 inches). Although it is not exactly what I wanted, I am just thankful for what I have and who knows, maybe some day it will turn into something else! I'd love to here how u guys are doing so feel free to comment on how your lives are moving forward.
