So, recently, I came out to my mother. I wrote down: "Hey, I'm out of the closet! (I'm gay.)" on a stickynote and signed it. I then took a picture of it and sent it to her through text (Horrible idea, I know, but it was the best I could do at the time) and she responded with: "You didn't write that. Stop joking around." The following conversation took place through text: Me : "What do you mean I didn't write that? It's on my door right now..." Her : "You don't know what you're talking about, son." Me : "So, do you not believe me, or...?" Her : "You're not gay." Well, any hope of support from my mother is now down the drain. For now. Parents are just frustrating nowadays. :bang: Also, I wasn't sure whether or not this would qualify for the "Family, Friends, and Relationships" section, so I just posted it here.
Ahh, I personally delivered my sticky note... But really I she snooped in my clothes, and found my journals.. It's okay, she might come around if you confront her seriously; but first give her some time to digest. ((Also Yasou?))
I'm pleased you wrote "for now" in your post, because it's an important point. Your mothers first reaction (denial) may change -- it usually does. In the heat of the moment and with no time to prepare or collect her thoughts she reacted to your text. Some parents are able to adapt and adjust very quickly and easily, while others need more time and a period of reflection and consideration. It's important that we try to understand and resist the temptation to lash out in frustration, because it's so easy to turn a disappointing coming out experience into a full blown conflict. Now that you have come out, it's important to stand firm and not retreat, but standing firm doesn't mean confrontation and hostility. It simply means sticking to what you have said and allowing your mother time and space to work through her feelings. Arguing will cause further entrenchment and that's the last thing you want. At some point she may move from denial to another stage, before she eventually accepts your news. Stay calm and read this information to help you understand where your Mother is with things right now: Empty Closets - Parent and Family Stages of Grief You can help your mother by pointing her in the direction of PFLAG (or FFLAG if you are in Dover, UK). Both groups exist to support parents, families and friends and their websites have downloadable resources and booklists, so take a look before you talk about it again.
