I am just wondering if anyone else feels conflicted about their orientation and whether it is normal to be gay/lesbian or not. I oscillate between accepting it and "feeling fine" about how I am and being sick over it. I am not overly religious, but after coworkers' remarks and a family member saying how I could "overcome" what made me this way, I started reading on a few sites... some sites non-secular.... I even got a few books both ways... about coming out of shame and conversely, coming out of lesbianism. I've had a few lesbian and straight relationships. Both insanely dysfunctional. I've been single and celibate a few years now, but can't put the thought of women out of my mind completely... especially in the summer months. I've trained myself not to look at women so intensely that I can't even flirt with women in gay bars. The thing that mainly bothers me is why I'm like this. I have a lot of gay friends and don't oppose gay rights but the things I'm reading make me wonder if being a lesbian is really a disorder. Like maybe it really was political pressure that made them take homosexuality out of the DSM. Because when I read the reasons some of these conversion organizations say women become lesbians (troubled relationship with mother, absence of male family members in adolescence, lack of acceptance from female peers, no close girlhood friendships) they match completely to me. There's a conversion organization close to me and I'm wondering if maybe I should just try it out.... don't know what the worst case scenario could be. I also don't know how to ignore this huge doubt that how I feel is not just normal or a biological difference. It's like I'll never know for sure. I can't talk to my gay friends about this obviously. But it haunts me.
Since 1973 being gay has not been considered a mental disorder by professionals and was taken out of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, so despite what the conversion organisations say, you being a lesbian is not a mental disorder. And I don't think it would have been entirely political pressure that would have made them taken homosexuality out of the DSM, since a) it was also taken of the DSM because of the overwhelming empirical data, and b) it was still the early 1970s, I doubt there would have been that much political pressure in support of LGBT. There have been many tests done, and they have proven that homosexuality is unrelated to psychological disturbance or maladjustment. When people used to think that homosexuality was linked to psychopathology or was a form of mental illness, the studies that "proved" it was were only clinical psychoanalytic studies and were not subjected to rigorous empirical testing. As such, the results were often biased. Although it is not really my place to say, I personally wouldn't try out a conversion organisation, and would work towards accepting myself and loving myself for who I really am, no matter what sexuality I was. I do occasionally doubt myself on my sexuality as well, as I do occasionally read or hear negative remarks on LGBT, but then I either not care (if I can) or go read some scientific facts about LGBT. (this website was a good read Homosexuality and Mental Health) Tbh, I think it would be depressing for me to be in a closet for the rest of my life, rather than be who I am and love myself for it. But once again, the conversion organisation is your personal choice, and I can only give you my personal opinion as I'm not a professional. I do hope you find comfort with your sexuality either way though, so good luck ---------- Post added 9th Jul 2016 at 09:42 PM ---------- ps. This is also an interesting read Facts About Changing Sexual Orientation
current scientific consensus is that homosexuality is not a disease. just know that conversion therapy is not based on any peer-reviewed evidence and in fact is believed to be extremely psychologically damaging.
Please don't. Such organizations have been shown to be very dangerous for a person's mental health. Don't put yourself through that. (*hug*) But do you think they match to other lesbians? Most lesbians? Doesn't seem like it...
Even if you see homosexuality as a mental disorder which it arguably is not there is no empirical evidence that any current treatment would change your sexual orientation no matter how much you want it. The jury is still out on the question what causes homosexuality and there might even be multiple causes. Even if there was a relation between dysfunctional childhood relationships and being gay there is no indication of which way the causality goes. Maybe it is being gay that is driving the dysfunctional relationships and not the other way around. Having said that to my knowledge there is no evidence of such relationship existing in the first place.
same-sex sexual behaviour has been observed in many different species. whilst no conclusions about human sexual orientation can be drawn from this or indeed that of any species, it does pose the question, is sexual orientation merely a human thing or it is an animal thing, something found to occur in a organic way and may not be (wholly) prescribed to a certain set of circumstances which only effect humans. that said there is a lot of evidence for genetic determination of sexual orientation and that it indeed may be purposeful. I favour the theory that it does have an evolutionary/reproductive advantage, of which we are unsure. kind of like the appendix. it's an anomaly and likely serves some kind of purpose/function, but we don't know what that is (although there are many theories). that is just my overall stance currently but subject to change with information.
