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Afraid

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by outcast19, Jul 17, 2016.

  1. outcast19

    Regular Member

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    Location:
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
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    One of my worst fears is being with someone (in a physical relationship) because I'm just not confident with the way I look, and my body. I can't even look at my full body in the mirror, and every day it just dawns on me that I'll never be able to expose myself to a intimate relationship. I want it more than anything but I hate the way I look.
    Also, not just this, but my religion (I don't really follow it) but I was brought up wearing the scarf and abaya and that really stops me from meeting new people because let's face it a lot of people have misconceptions of people due to appearance. You can't tell who is or isn't queer but I feel like no one would ever know so I won't find anyone to talk to about my true self
    I'm afraid I'll be lonely forever and it's killing me.

    I'm really sorry if I posted on the wrong forum
     
  2. Gravity

    Full Member

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    It's kind of a catch-22, in a way - on the one hand, being able to date might make it easier to see yourself more positively. On the other, seeing yourself more positively would make it easier to date. Which comes first?

    If you have particular desires about how to change, then by all means, pursue them in a healthy way. It helps to be proactive and take positive steps on your own, as with any situation in life. :slight_smile: If it's a more generalized feeling that you're not sure what to do with, perhaps you could talk to a counselor who could offer some more detailed and professional support on the subject.

    And as far as meeting people, and letting them get to know you - if you're out to a couple people, perhaps you could take another leap and start looking for LGBT centers, clubs, or events to attend. If you put yourself in a situation where there are more LGBT and LGBT-friendly people, you'll be more likely to meet someone and get to know each other. Maybe some of the things you're afraid people will stereotype you for (the hijab, the abaya) will even get people's attention and make them want to talk to you. You never know!

    I hope some of this helps - keep posting by all means. Above all else, it's good to process your thoughts in a situation like this. :slight_smile:
     
  3. Shorthaul

    Regular Member

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    I know to many religious teachings are deeply ingrained from a young age and stay even if the person is not practicing or following that faith anymore. If you are not following, have you considered not wearing them? I don't want to sound rude or ignorant of your beliefs, but I am genuinely curious if you had considered it. It might grant you a little more freedom to express yourself, and really shine. Or at the very least keep those who are ignorant from judging you or making you feel uncomfortable.

    Gravity, has some pretty solid advice on meeting new people. I am pretty terrible at it myself.
     
    #3 Shorthaul, Jul 18, 2016
    Last edited: Jul 18, 2016