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Problems With Venting

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by L0ser, Jul 21, 2016.

  1. L0ser

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    This may seem a little odd, but I want some tips on venting. I've done it before, and tried, but it never really goes right. There's a lot I've been bottling up for years at this point, and trying to condense all of that into one or two posts or just talking about it is difficult.

    I try to stick to one thing, but I end up jumping all over the place and giving too much information on some things, then far too little on others. Then I panic. I try to do too much, I think. But no matter how many times I try it just gets all jumbled up and I end up deleting it or not saying it. At the end of the day I'm just left thinking how bad I am at articulating my thoughts, and it doesn't help at all. And finally it just perpetuates the cycle of never saying anything as more things pile up.

    Not very fun. But when trying to talk about the problems makes me feel bad as well, then its hard to want to address my issues.

    So, how do you vent? How should I collect my thoughts? Does it make you feel better? Does anyone else feel like this sometimes?

    Thanks for reading.
     
  2. Aberrance

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    On another forum I had a ramblings thread and a blog where I'd go and just vent about a certain thing I was feeling, and yeah 95% of the time I went off on a random tangent but if that's what's going on in your head then let it be. Get it out there and just write it down. It helps me a lot especially when I'm really overwhelmed because I used to deal with my feelings in a harmful way. This way whenever I get urges I just pull open my blog or notebook and scribble my thoughts down however they come out.

    I mean the way I work is to vent to myself, I don't want replies. If you want support from others then just take it a step at a time and limit yourself to a couple sentences if needs be. Also ask about them, make sure the conversation isn't one sided. Then you'll feel more comfortable opening up to them because they've shared personal stuff with you and you'll both be getting something out of it so it should make you feel a bit better about talking about it.
     
  3. L0ser

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    That's a good idea. I used to write poetry, and that helped for a while, but I ended up stopping due to a lack of free time. School and family troubles and all that.
    This was where I was getting a little overwhelmed. I'm not someone who likes to talk about my problems, so I think it would be good to at least openly talk about these things with others. I don't really want a lot of replies or anything, but it does make me feel like I'm really addressing my problems by 'talking' about them. But like you said I should take it a step at a time and make sure it's not all about me.

    I totally forgot how when I did feel comfortable venting, it was always because we were both opening up about it. I guess I didn't realize it, but that explains why I feel awkward about the ways I've been trying to go about venting.

    Thanks for the reply, and the advice!
     
  4. Glowing Eyes

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    I feel a lot like this. I don't have any advice though.
     
  5. L0ser

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    I'm sorry you feel like that too, it kind of sucks.

    Also, even if you don't have any advice, thanks for the response. It makes me feel better to know that someone can relate, you know?
     
  6. Aspen

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    What about using a word document as a sounding board? Type out all your thoughts, go on whatever tangents you want, put in as much detail as you need. Sometimes just the act of writing can be enough. You can then use the document to edit down your thoughts into something more manageable to share. If you have trouble doing that, choosing just a few sentences to post might be easier.
     
  7. Glowing Eyes

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    (*hug*)
     
  8. L0ser

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    I've started doing this. It's definitely helping me gather all my thoughts, and draw connections between things.
     
  9. yuanzi

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    I am definitely guilty of this too sometimes. Trying to improve though. If you are/will be in college, maybe you should consider taking a logic class, or at the very least educate yourself on the matter. The latter is what I am doing right now...

    I think it is really important that when you vent, you focus on the cause of the problem instead of what's associated with the problem. There can be so many annoying things associated with your problem but are not the cause and venting about those is likely to confuse people more.

    Another thing I am often guilty of is giving too many unnecessary/generic details that do not add anything to the situation I am trying to describe. For example, in small tight-knitted communities, people tend to be very caring about their neighbors but wary of strangers. This is something most people already know and you don't need to come up with 10 examples to support it.

    I agree you can write or even draw a small diagram to organize your thoughts. Make sure you tell a relatively full and convincing story without adding unnecessary distractions :slight_smile:
     
  10. iiimee

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    I love how ironic this thread is...
     
  11. peterw78165

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    Same here. It's kind of funny.
     
    #11 peterw78165, Jul 22, 2016
    Last edited: Jul 22, 2016