Hard Situation

Hi there, Brandon. It sounds to me like what you want to do right now is to live with your mom. Are you and your dad on good speaking terms? Maybe you can tell him "Hey, I think I want to live with mom again and look for a job in the city". Hopefully he'll be understanding.
And what about your mom? Will she be alright with you moving back in after such a short time away?

 

If your parents aren't "fighting" over you, then I would tend to suggest getting them together in a conference call or something and discussing this with them. However, you'll need to tell us something about your parents' relationship before that can be suggested.

You're also going to have to answer questions from a court commissioner or a judge, and that person will no doubt sense your reluctance as well.

It would be helpful if you could explain what led you to your original placement with your mother, and so on.

 

It's Minnesota and Wisconsin, so in those places people can be a bit passive aggressive. It can be difficult to communicate directly when that is the case, but here are some ideas for you.

You deserve to make your own choice here, so I'm going to suggest you make this about you. Start by telling your dad/coworkers/mom up front what your decision is, right up front. But then go further. For your dad, you should tell him that it has been a hard decision (because it actually has been, it's the truth), and you should start with the things you are going to miss, about your job, and about him. What you want to do is build the bridge between you and him, so that in the future you will have a good relationship.

Also, you should communicate that you intend to have a real, and a genuine, relationship with each parent, and will try to stay out of the arguments that they may have with each other. Ask him for his help in trying to build a relationship with you, individually, that does not reflect the problems that he has with your mother. This will be hard for him, of course, as it would be for all of us. But you should reassure him that it is he and your mother who are getting the divorce, you have not decided to divorce either of them and in fact want to build a new, independent relationship with each parent.

Because the distance is relatively short, you should think about the arrangement you would most like to have, with respect to visiting. In fact, if the three of you can come to a genuine agreement on this, you will have more influence with the court. The court realizes that you're not a piece of property to be handed back and forth, and should value your opinion. You are old enough now to have a much greater voice in this.

I wish you well in this. The way you write tells me that you are mature and assertive enough to get this message across. The problem is that you are making a difficult choice here, and you seem to be doing the best you can. I think your parents are lucky to have a child like you. Be proud of yourself.

 

I don't think life is treating you fairly. No child should make this type of decisions. It's heartbreaking! What have you done to deserve this? You didn't do anything wrong, it's just things turned out to be sucky.

All you probably want is for them to be together. It's like offering to a starving person either food or water, well he/she needs both. It's amazing that you still love your parents. I would've been really angry with both of them, wouldn't talk to them, and would go live on my own as soon as I could. But that's me, you have your own decisions to make. Just remember there is no right or wrong decision, you do whatever heart and mind tells you, you make your own decision and whatever it is it is the right one, never doubt your own decisions. Sooner or later we have to grow up and make decisions for ourselves and stick with them, it's just such a pity some people like you have to become adults too soon. All the best!