How to get through work days while sad for a failed relationship

If your happiness depends on others i.e. I'm happy when I see/talk/text someone then you don't have control over your own life, you allow others to control your happiness, good mood and motivation.

My advice is to take this opportunity to reflect on your values in life, on what you really want etc. For now your main task should be - How can I be happy without depending on others? Do you have hobbies? Do you have friends you share common hobbies with? Maybe it's time to find a new hobby?

Our world is upside down right now, many people think that having a [happy] relationship is the ultimate goal in life, we all forget that we came to this world alone and we leave this world alone. We should learn to be happy on our own. If you can't make happy yourself how can you make happy somebody else? One of the things we can think of is to love ourselves fully and unconditionally. When we love ourselves then others love us too.

If you can afford then consider seeing a psychologist, there are many good psychologists around and very often you can negotiate a price reduction if you're strapped for cash.

 

Keep your head busy. That's what I try, always. If you think what you are doing is boring and you start thinking about everything, find more work. Do side projects, never stop.

 

Remind yourself that you will get through it. I have been in your shoes more than once. I've had my heart broken so many times and getting out of bed every day was one of the hardest things to do. All I wanted to do was sleep and forget about everything. Eventually, as the days went by, I got better bit by bit. You have to find things in your life that make you happy. Surround yourself with friends and family. Remember what makes you who you are. That person you were with does not define you. And one day, you will find someone who loves you as much as you love them. Right now it is so hard. That's what makes you human. But I promise, you will get through this. And you will become so much stronger than before. <3

 

It's not easy since everyone is unique and there is no universal solution. A job is a job it's not a partner/spouse/friend, it's just what you do and usually the problem is not with the job per se but with the way we perceive it, the way our own inner problems make us perceive it. There is something in you that is either bothering you or you don't like, you can't escape from it by switching to another career. I mean some time in the past you did like your job, you wanted it, right? Otherwise why did you apply for something you hate? I assume you did like it in the past or at least it didn't bother you but then slowly you started to hate it. The reason is that your inner problems are still there and it's difficult for your mind to deal with them [on a deeper, subconscious level that you may not even be aware of] and on top of that you have to work so your job becomes an additional burden and you start to dislike your job. It's very likely that if you don't find what the root of your inner problems is then after graduating the school and getting a new job, after a while you will start to hate that new job too. I want to be wrong, I'm just saying what I'm seeing, it's hard to give a piece of advice without knowing a person. I don't like quick fixes that will help you get through this difficult stage of your life but don't really address the real problem.

---------- Post added 2nd Aug 2016 at 07:40 PM ----------

Having said that if you want a quick fix there are a couple of things you could do.

1. Something I came up for myself. I like computer games and when I need to do something I don't like then I pretend it's a game. For example a strategy game where you have workers that work at mine and collect gold for you. So I worked for an hour ooo it's $20 of gold, I cleared 100 rows of Excel - that's 100 wood for my castle.

2. NLP, neuro linguistic programming. You can find a lot of material online, what you probably need is anchoring so maybe google nlp anchoring examples. You can do it yourself or you can ask a friend to help you. Here is one:

nlp-secrets DOT com/nlp-technique-anchoring DOT php

 

One of the things that a person can do when going through a breakup is to remove any reminders of the person or the relationship from their daily routine - pack away gifts from them, store pictures of them somewhere where you won't see them, if you don't want to get rid of them entirely, and so forth.

Depending on your setup at work, maybe you could flip this on its head. Bring in little things to set up on your desk, if you have one - little executive toys (the five hanging balls, other things), or maybe something to remind you of a goal you have for the future (a picture of a place you want to go on vacation, or some sort of collectible from the school you'll be going to in January, like a desk clock or a wall hanging or a little statue of the school mascot). The more stimulus you have that reminds you of the future, and what you're moving towards (instead of what's in the past), the better.

 

I was actually going to ask you about college. That's exactly what I did after my last break up. I got myself prepared for college. And let me tell you... It really helped. I felt so good about myself and I really focused on myself for once. In the meantime, surround yourself with good people. Getting on this site helps, too.

 

If you ever need help and just someone to talk to, please feel free to message me. I think it's best you have someone to talk to, especially someone who has felt like you are feeling.

 

That's great, congrats!

As for bed - that feeling will pass. Fill the other side with pillows in the meantime, and you'll get used to it.