About a month or two ago, a new guy (Eric we'll call him) started working on my shift. Since the day I met him, I instantly fell for him. Later I found out that he has a wife and one year old son. Eric has since then switched work shifts so there's only an hour overlap and I see him during our half hour weekly meeting. How did I get over him when I work with him? I want to be friends with Eric after I get over this crush. All I think about is him though I know feelings aren't the same for him.
Good luck with that. It is hard to overcome it on same work place. Your best option is keep your contact at minimum. Even if you need to talk over work related stuff try to keep it at professional level. Luckily every guy I fall for like that quickly showed their douche-bag sides. There was that one guy who was working as a security guard. I even go as far as coming out to him. He said he loved someone so he can't return anyone's feelings. He never said that someone was a woman. More so whenever we talk his eyes were keeping wandering to my crotch.... That was confusing as hell. Lucky for me he quit job to help his brother on their family business. So take my advice with grain of salt. As you can see I wasn't that succesful on that case.
I agree with White Knight. Distance helps, because all the things about this Eric guy that drives you crazy? You won't be exposed to it. The only time distance doesn't help is when you're in deep. On top of that, I'd suggest, when you do see him, to keep yourself busy. Like: Eric's here? Time to be the Captain America of employees. When you just focus on important work and do your job, it's easier to forget about anything else. Even when he's on shift, like White Knight said, minimize interactions with him, but still be cordial. You don't want drama to start if someone notices you're short with him or clearly avoiding him.
Thanks to both of you for your responses! I appreciate it. @redghost When do you know when you're in deep? I may be there. I've been missing him all this week as Eric's been on vacation. I haven't texted him because I respect him and his time with his family. In the end, I know this crush isn't going to do me any good. Not having many people to talk to online or in real life, I was touched that he offered to listen when he noticed that something was bothering me. I've been in a relationship with a guy for three and a half years. We're going to couples counseling. He recently went into the hospital for his mental health, went through that, and did his group therapy. He will be going back to work this upcoming week. It been a lot when you don't really have anyone to support you emotionally. He has anxiety and depression and is on medication for it. Just feel like our relationship is unfixable. I've told Eric pieces of what's going on with my relationship. I need Eric's friendship but I want the feelings to go away because they don't help me, Eric, or my boyfriend. I'm just trying to work my feelings out and be happy.
I'm so sorry I never got back to you on this. I don't know how I missed your reply. How did things work out for you? As for being in deep, you'll know. It's common to have a crush and get excited just to see them around, and sad when they're not. You're in deep when you're thinking about them whenever you're somewhere interesting or doing something fun. Like your friends take you out somewhere amazing, and at some point your thoughts drift back to the crush and you think about how much better it would be if they were there, too.
I am curious, are you out? I personally found workplace crushes were very hard to deal with while I was closeted. It was easy to get emotions for guys that I worked with closely. I also found myself having them frequently as crushes were an emotional outlet reaffirming my sexuality. Once I embraced myself and was honest with myself and my sexuality, I found the power of workplace crushes diminished. I also found my emotional energies being channeled towards others outside the workplace. This may not be the case with you, but I do believe such crushes go hand and hand with being closeted.
