Hey guys So this is kind of a rant/asking for advice thingy. For the past year and a half, I stopped caring. I was apathetic towards my schoolwork, my art, and god forgive me, my pets. I just...... lost interest in everything I loved. I was totally numb, I guess. And also in that time, I lost one rat to respiratory illness, and I had to give up my two others due to a move. And now that cloud has evaporated. I feel..... happy, hopeful, not just bleh like I did before. And I'm thrilled that I have all of those feelings back. I feel motivated, I feel inspired. The only dark cloud in my sunny sky right now is guilt. During that time, I just.... in terms of my animals, I stopped giving them any attention. I mean, I of course fed them and cleaned their cages, but I never played with them or gave them the attention they deserved. Now don't misunderstand. I LOVE my pets. I WANTED to play with them, I just...... I just couldn't find the motivation to do anything but sit on my butt and do nothing. When Onyx (my rat) was sick, I held her in my lap and pet her constantly, I syringe fed her water, I stayed up with her all night, I gave her a stuffed animal to snuggle with.... I cried and I held her until the moment she passed. I LOVE my pets. I just felt like I....... couldn't love them. I don't even know. So now, the two babies I have left with me are my gerbil Ricky and my Beta fish Anubis. I want to punch myself for letting my mother take my rats away. I should have fought her on it....... I miss them, I'm furious with myself for losing them..... I feel so guilty that I never gave my rats or my gerbil the love they deserved. And now that that dark cloud has passed from over my head, I've started taking tip top care of my babies. I took Ricky out to play for the first time in almost 2 years yesterday..... and the joy that I felt watching him scamper around and sniff happily at my feet was the purest, most incredible feeling. I don't know what to do about how awful I feel about this, though....... I'm angry with myself. For being such a terrible owner, for letting my mom take my rats... for everything I guess. Does anyone have any advice on dealing with guilt? :help:
I had a hamster that would chase the dog when he was in his hamster ball. I miss that little dude. It will take a little while, but just focus on taking good care of the pets you have and that will ease the guilt. And one day you can probably get another rat or two.
