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I don't think I can take living life anymore.

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Ramlethal, Aug 9, 2016.

  1. Ramlethal

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    I am not cut out for the world as other people are and time always shows that.

    I am trapped in this body that brings me endless suffering.

    I feel paralyzed to do anything as my life of failure and mediocrity continues on.

    If my life was over , I don't have to think of a better life that might not come and most of all I don't have to suffer. I pretend death is not an option but it stares at me right in the face. I've been thinking that an eternal rest might not be that bad.
     
  2. Alexrocks1253

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    Hey. I've gone through this before, and I can promise you, things will get better. I once questioned my gender and sexually at the same time like you are doing. I know it's confusing, but soon, you'll find yourself. Maybe try therapy or something. Try doing something to keep your mind off your questioning. You'll find the answer at the most unexpected of times. Maybe try playing video games if you don't already. I hope that this helps you, even if it's just a tiny little bit.

    Best of luck to you,
    Alex (*hug*)
     
  3. deru

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    Just remember man that it doesn't matter what happens to you is not your fault. So therefore don't be the one that is responsible to carry those burdens. I would recommend you to read about philosophical naturalism and especially the view from determinism about praise and retribution.
     
  4. questions4ever

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    I'm right there with you AND we are going to make it through this crack some how. Please keep pushing I promise there are people who want you here (me included!) message me if you need help. Please get some professional help I promise it's worth it.
     
  5. RavenTheRat

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    Hun, I promise you that no matter how many boulders the world's going to throw at you you're going to get through it. And yeah it's gonna give you a massive freaking headache sometimes but headaches don't last forever. Trust me, someday you'll look back on the moments when you feel like this and you're going to be glad you kept going. There are always people who care about you, even if you may feel alone.
     
  6. PatrickUK

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    I'm really sorry to hear that you are struggling and suffering. It's very hard to carry on when life seems so painful and meaningless, but you did an amazing thing (that's right, amazing) by creating this thread and talking about it a little. Now, do you think you can say more to people who actually do care? When you talk about how you feel, it just releases that pressure valve a little bit and can give you some strength to go on.

    Tell us what's going on with your body, if you can? What are you feeling?

    When you talk about failure and mediocrity and the paralysis that arises from these feelings, what exactly has happened (or hasn't perhaps)? Try to tell us what it's all about.

    Nobody will judge you for not feeling okay, but we would like to help and offer support, because you are part of our community and you matter. When you don't have people to talk to the world can seem a very lonely place. We're here for you!
     
  7. Ramlethal

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    Who in life actually cares about me? Its the shell of who I am that matters to them.

    Everything about my body brings me extreme discomfort , having masculine features , growing facial hair and etc.

    I feel distant and that I have no connection to the body that I call my own , I don't want to feel disconnection to it , i just want to stop thinking about it all together.

    But here I am with the discomfort driving me insane.

    My life hasn't been successful at all , I pretty much failed school throughout my life and dropped out of high school.

    Attempted College but got similiar results and after that I tried going for jobs but anxiety and not being able to keep up got the best of me. I really don't have a place to truly call my own.

    Life passes by as everything seems hopeless , I feel that I want to do something but its like what can I do. I don't have any skills or talents that I am hiding , I don't feel that I will ever be able to move from place that I am in.

    I don't wish to continue on in this hopeless thing called life.
     
  8. resu

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    Take things one day at a time and stay in the present. What has happened in the past is history, and no one knows what the future will be, but you can steer towards something better.

    We at EC care about you even though we are strangers. It is important to manage your anxiety because it can highjack your thought processes. Have you tried talking to a professional counselor?

    What do you love to do in terms of hobbies or maybe creative activities?
     
  9. joshy the queen

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    gosh if you only know how much i know about this kind of pain,I may be a man who is 100% okay with being a male i do have my own discomforts that sits me off about it
    facial hair
    body hair
    broad shoulders
    i can go on and on but it just wont help
    the thing is i can see other stuff that shines me
    my sense of fashion for example just sets a flame all over that turns both self confidence and attraction right up to the high bar,so yay me :eusa_danc ok i sound stupid and childish :grin:
    when i read your words i just remember me i swear i know how it feels trust me even though it might seem like life is over
    its not
    infact my life was over two years ago
    when i first finished middle school i had everything wrong with my self destroy my spirit and well lets just say i didn't do well in the last middle school exams
    where i live it depends on high grades to enter a public high school well even higher to enter private ones
    i was so doomed i couldn't enter either
    instead i had to stay at home and face my failure
    i found an institute but it was just full of losers and people who really didnt want to go to high school so not me !!!
    i stuck up with that for two years and my blame and failure gets bigger in my eyes every time i felt terrible in that school
    lets just say though after all that crap,i got out stronger,i found myself my real self,i knew who im ,and i found out what i wanted to be
    so i decided i need to set goals i want to make it i want to finish high school no matter what and do best in my senior year
    so i can be a video game designer
    i just started setting out goals and making dreams of getting out
    i changed everything in me i got a new haircut started shaving everything EVERYDAY :roflmao:
    and well i bought a new wardrobe a clothing line that fits my persona
    all this made me better and well suited for senior year that i faced it fearless
    i made it
    here im today applying for video game design and gosh where was i ?
    i remember one of my old notes saying stuff like death life sucks im never good at anything and i just suck and i should die but now BLUH BLUH BLUH
    if i knew then what i know now i wouldn't have said that
    that's why you should not give up
    and set out a journey for yourself for whatever it may be that your dream is
    GOOD LUCK AND I WISH YOU THE BEST
     
  10. Ramlethal

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    Doesn't it cost money to see one? I don't have anything to my name.

    I don't have any hobbies or activities that I am fond of.
     
  11. Jellyfish Clear

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    I am just going to add in my opinion, you can choose to ignore it if you want.
    I believe in situations like this hobbies can really help. They can give a big sense of living especially physical activities. Like yourself I have had suicidal thoughts and what really helped me was my hobbies. Getting lost in a book, watching anime and now that I have started cycling that too.
    Don't ever think that your worthless and nobody cares for you because there are loads of people on here that do.
    So i suggest start something up. It doesn't have to be an expensive hobby but something to do to pass the time. It really helps!
    Best regards.
     
  12. Ramlethal

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    I just want life to be over now.
     
  13. jaska

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    If you leave, then there is no going back after that. You are dead forever, you won't even be able to think or feel. You'll have no other chances, you'll never be alive again. You will hurt everyone who knows you and they will be scarred for the rest of their lives by it. They might even blame themselves or beat themselves up for not being with you more. It's cruel and selfish to kill yourself and hurt everyone around you. Trust me, they would rather see you miserable than see you dead. If you're alive and breathing, that means you have a chance to get better. If you are dead, you have zero chances of getting better because you have given up.
    I want to kill myself everyday because I feel there is no hope for me. But I stay alive because I hbe people who know me and people who care about me. Everyone here cares very much about you because we are your family, your brothers and sisters.

    Last night I felt like hell and I wanted to end it. But I held on with all my strength. Now this morning, I still feel like hell. But it's ok because I know it will pass eventually and I'll be able to think straight again.
    Try and start a journal and write everyday about how you're feeling, draw pictures, even set a goal for yourself. And everyday, write down one thing you did that day that was a small step in the right direction. So just take it one step at a time, ok, and eventually you'll begin to feel better.
    Remember that your body isn't everything, in fact it is just a vessel that you traveling in. YOU are the important thing, much much more important than your body. But you are also only a tiny speck in the world, you hardly matter to the rest of the universe. So you have more freedom than you think. But you matter so much more to your sisters and brothers and family and friends because they are the ones who matter and will care if you end your life. So take a deep breath and look around you. Notice 10 things, touch smell, hear, taste, see. Be grateful that you are still breathing, that you still have a chance. :hugs:
     
    #13 jaska, Sep 1, 2016
    Last edited: Sep 1, 2016
  14. kyboan

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    I know from your perspective it's hard to see, but everything you're feeling is bullshit. I think this is something we all have been through, I know i have, and it's just plain awful. We all get it, and reaching out for help is the best first step you can take. Talking to people and realizing that you're not the only one that's been there helps you to realize that it's all bullshit. Reach outside of your comfort zone, make friends, build a support system. I am a million miles from living as who I truly am inside, but just having good friends has improved my overall look on life ten fold. And I truly feel safer everyday I have them in my life. Growing a support system is vital to getting past this. Hopefully, one day, you too will look back on this and see what bullshit feelings they were. Causing unnecessary pain and struggle in your life. I implore you to not give up, though it looks easy, the easiest route is often not the best. And nothing good in life comes easy either. Please hear this, I, as well as others, have been there. I hated myself for who I am, and still do sometimes. But putting myself out there and finding friends has been th best thing I could have done. They know nothing about who I truly am, but I feel like when I tell them, they'll laugh at me for thinking they didn't already know. It's the best feeling and I want this for you. Keep strong, keep posting, these are good people here who only want nothing but the best for you.

    I wish you the best.
    Kyboan
     
  15. Ramlethal

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    why must I suffer? :frowning2:
     
  16. Littlegreen

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    I just joined to let you know you are not alone in this feeling, on a daily basis I question why I am carrying on with life.

    I was an overweight child with an alcoholic abusive father, I suffered horrific bullying at school and at home... this has affected me my whole life. I am 29 years old and I have never had a relationship, I have never been kissed or felt intimacy. I'm socially inept and have no friends whatsoever, I don't even own a mobile/cell phone because speaking aloud has always left me a nervous wreck.

    Romance has always intrigued me and I'd love to just explore everything in this life with somebody else... I'm so lonely, yet I don't know what I'm lonely for?

    I live day-to-day just existing and try not to think about things, but deep down I'm so sad.
     
  17. OldDog1952

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    IF your still alive. LISTEN TO ME PLEASE! You need help now. I have been where you are & it's A bad place. You need professional help. Your not going to get it from A web site. I know how you feel I attempted suicide myself. Fortunately someone was there to stop me. You may not be so lucky. Go to the nearest hospital now & tell them how you feel they will get you the help you need. If you attempt suicide & fail they will bring you there anyway. And your recovery will take much longer. I'M not going to give you A lot of B.S like it will get better yada yada It wont unless you get some help. Believe this, It's always darkest before the dawn, But there won't be A dawn if your dead. Please get help Now!

    !
     
    #17 OldDog1952, Oct 1, 2016
    Last edited: Oct 1, 2016