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Worried that I'm Not Actually Gay….

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by MyPugtronus, Aug 15, 2016.

  1. MyPugtronus

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    I was looking for LGBT resources in my area, and I found an ex-fundie LGBT support group. Score! It's tomorrow night, and I plan to be there.

    But the second I decided to go, I started worrying. What if I'm not actually gay? Or even queer? What if this really is a phase and I'm wrong about everything and…argh. I know deep down that those thoughts are wrong, factually speaking, but I can't get them out of my head.
     
  2. Alexrocks1253

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    Don't worry. It's not a phase. Just try to distract yourself from those thoughts. (*hug*)
     
  3. tyro

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    No need to define your sexuality. You might be somewhere on the Kinsey scale that isn't 1 or 6
     
  4. sunnyskies

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    I can definitely relate to this fear! And I think at one point many of us on here probably have experienced this.

    I know for me I have this inclination to wait until I'm super super sure where I sit exactly on the spectrum, and have fully accepted this within myself, before I make any external steps like telling my parents, or trying to meet other LGBT people. The thing is, if you hold yourself back and wait until you're super super grounded in your sexuality before you make any of these external steps - like going to meet up with a LGBT group - then you might be waiting forever, because I think making these steps is actually part of accepting and grounding yourself with your sexuality.

    If you do experience a bit of a wobble about identifying as gay or queer then at least you will know that about yourself; I think the benefits of going to this meet-up far outways the worry that you might be identifying yourself wrong. As you say it's super unlikely that you're not gay/queer, and the fact that you're on here, and seeking to meet with this LGBT group, then I would agree that it's very unlikely that you're not at least queer!

    I think you'll be absolutely fine, MyPugtronus :slight_smile:
    x (*hug*)