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Issues with gay pride

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Anonymouse7, Aug 16, 2016.

  1. Anonymouse7

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    A few of my friends have been encouraging me to go to a gay pride event but I just find myself feeling very uncomfortable thinking about going to an event like that.

    Don't get me wrong, I may have had (large)issues in the past with my sexuality and had to deal with losing friends after I came out but I firmly believe that I am over them but I honestly don't feel proud of my sexuality. It's not something I worked for like my grades so I don't feel either proud or ashamed of it just like how I'm not proud of having blonde hair or being white, they aren't things I worked for or have any intrinsic value to me.

    Maybe this is a small piece of the internalised homophobia that held me back in pervious years and I would like to be able to take part and feel like I belong in an event like that, maybe I'm being superficial and gay pride is about more than just simply being proud of your sexuality.

    Sorry for the ramble but I just kind of needed to vent without anyone trying to interrupt or put words in my mouth! :lol:

    I'd be interested to hear if anyone else has similar views on the topic though.
     
  2. AKTodd

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    I've heard this sentiment (I didn't work for it, so why should I feel proud of it?)expressed on EC several times before. However, that isn't what Pride is about. It's not about being proud of what you are - it's about refusing to be ashamed of it despite many people and groups telling you that you should be.

    Beyond that, if you truly don't have any feelings one way or the other about being gay, then why would you feel uncomfortable about going to Pride? Note that there are valid reasons for feeling uncomfortable like not liking crowds. Or not wanting to go because you don't like carnivals or the like.

    Assuming you don't have issues with crowds or find carnivals so boring you really don't want to go - why not just go and see what it's like? What reason would you have for feeling that you don't below there, exactly?

    My 2c worth,

    Todd
     
  3. OGS

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    It's possible that your sexuality has not presented enough of a problem for you to feel that the way you have handled it is enough to be proud of. If that is the case I don't think there's anything wrong with that. If that's the case you're actually very fortunate. Many people have had many serious issues and obstacles that in at least some fashion stem from their sexuality. Many of those people are very proud of how they have overcome them and continue to overcome them in ways large and small every day.

    Take myself for instance. I attend Pride pretty much every year--have for over twenty years. I grew up in a Mormon family in Utah. I came out in the early nineties. I didn't even know any gay people. I actually tried to kill myself my senior year in high school--I just couldn't see a way through the way I was. And then eventually I realized that I would just have to figure it out. I'd have to own up to who I was--what I was--and build some sort of a life. The only other person I knew who had done it was disowned by his parents--and his parents weren't nearly as religious as mine. But I decided I had to live my life honestly and openly and if that meant everyone I knew turned their backs on me well I guess I'd just have to find other people. And so I did, and it was hard but it was wonderful. And slowly the people around me realized that maybe gay people weren't who they thought they were, maybe they were like me and maybe that was pretty alright. And maybe we should be able to be ourselves and get married and have jobs and all that.

    And I'm proud of that. I know so many people who woke up one day and said you know what, I'm going to love openly and honestly and I'm willing to lose everything for that. I think that's amazing. I think it's courageous. I'm proud of that. I'm not proud that I'm attracted to other men. I am proud that I and my brothers and sisters have carved out a place for us to be and filled that space with love.

    If any of that makes you proud good for you--go to Pride. If it doesn't, if being gay really is like your hair color for you, well, then that's awesome too. The world really is a very different place now than it was--and I guess I'll go ahead and be a little proud about that too.