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22 and I feel like my life will never start

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by hillwanderer, Aug 19, 2016.

  1. hillwanderer

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    I'm 22 and just graduated college this spring from a fairly highly ranked university. My degree is in environmental studies (if I had realized how difficult it was to find a job with my degree, I would've reconsidered, but it's too late for that now.) I've applied to probably hundreds of jobs since graduation, and the only ones that wanted to interview me were temporary, service-type jobs in environmental conservation that offered a small living stipend - no full-time, permanent positions. Currently I'm working at a temp job with the state which pays minimum wage, but I have no idea what I'm going to do after it ends; it's just not sustainable. I can't even afford to get an apartment on what I make, and I can't seem to find a good living situation with a roommate, so I'm living with my parents in a small town and commuting almost an hour each way to work, which is a major issue.

    After several years of questioning my sexuality and thinking that maybe I was bi, I've come to realize that I'm actually a lesbian. My immediate family is very Christian, and pretty much all of my family members, immediate and extended, are extremely homophobic, so I haven't even considered coming out to anyone because I'm afraid of being kicked out with no job to support myself and pay student loans. I'm out to a couple of close friends, and that's all. My only sibling got married to his high school sweetheart when he was my age, goes to church, lives independently, and has a decent job, so I'm the black sheep of the family. I've never even been in a relationship. I've had crushes on girls, but nothing ever came of them because most of them were either straight or just not interested, and even if it would have worked out, I would've had to hide the relationship because of my family.

    I'm just so scared about the future. I'm terrified that I'll never be able to find a decent job that will allow me to finally move out of my parents' house and live my life. I feel like a shell of myself right now. I never really go anywhere because it's about 20 miles to the nearest medium-sized town, and I already spend too much on gas just driving to work. And I can't really date without raising my parents' suspicions and possibly outing myself. I'm scared that I'll never be in a relationship because I'm already in my 20s with no experience, and most people my age are taken or at least have relationship experience.

    I'm near the end of my rope emotionally and I feel like screaming. I just want to make more than minimum wage and be able to live on my own and maybe eventually come out, but it seems impossible, or at the very least, in the distant future. Has anyone gone through something similar? Any advice?
     
  2. bingostring

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    There are different ways to get the job you want. One is the hard slog of CVs and random job applications. The other is to circulate in the areas where you have expertise and get to know people, casually, in the field. From these associations can come surprising results. I have always got jobs by recommendation through people I know rather than searching the advertised posts. Advertised jobs also have the disadvantage of receiving hundreds of applicants and you are just one in 200 people chasing one vacancy.

    This job search also could be the key to moving to that town 20 miles away, or some other town where you can forge a new life in a new setting away from your inhibiting family??

    And congratulations for graduating so well!!! A degree in environmental studies may not be as limiting as you feel. Many employers would look at you as having "transferrable skills" and I would not let it hold you back / or narrow your vision.
     
  3. Aspen

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    (*hug*) I'm going through something very similar right now. I'm 23, graduated college a year ago with a degree in psychology (which sounds more useful than it is), currently working eight hours a week for a salary that just barely covers my bills, living with my very Christian mother. The future is terrifying, but there are things you can do.

    My advice: Don't wait until your current position is over before you start looking for another. Explore your options. Reach out to professionals in positions that you think you'd like and ask if they have any advice. Check Google for resources on “informational interview.” The Ask a Manager blog is one potential resource, and also includes information on resumes, cover letters, and interviewing. Does your university's career center have any networking tools that can help you? Is there something outside of the environmental field that your skills might be applicable towards?
     
  4. hillwanderer

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    Thanks for your responses. I think my next step will be to use LinkedIn to find other alumni from my school who are employed and possibly email them asking about how they found their position/if they have any advice. Also I may try emailing former professors who remember me and briefly explaining my situation and seeing what they have to say. Not being able to be myself around my family is another big issue in my life right now, of course, but since I can't really do anything about that, the only thing I can do is work as hard as possible to get a real job and move out.