Hi, I'm in the process of accepting being gay. I met a guy in a those online dating sites and he lives around 9000 miles away from me. We have been talking a lot about many things. He is very flirtatious with me. I told him that I've never being with anyone or had any romantic relationship and he is ok with that. Anyway we ended up masturbating on skype. He said he felt kind of guilty about it because he didn't want to ruin our friendship with that. For me the experience was weird. I felt like pretending to be someone else, like doing the things I was supposed to do and I didn't like that. We talked about it at we agreed that we won't do it again so we keep on talking. But I'm afraid of the whole thing. I mean c'mon he is sooo far away, I haven't come out to almost anyone. Is this too much for me right now? I kind of like him but not as much as he is into me, plus he is 10 years younger. Thanks for any advice.
I think that, since you're still in the process of accepting that you're gay, that's what made the whole thing weird for you. When I was in the process of accepting that I'm bisexual at age 14 (I am actually Kinsey 4-5 lesbian, but I found that out later), I felt weird thinking about kissing my best friend at the time. She was hitting on me daily and I was very nervous. The thought of kissing her almost repulsed me because it seemed so weird, since I was still so young and confused. But one night, she finally kissed me, and it was AMAZING. In my opinion, I think you're pushing yourself too far right now. Keep talking to him and take things slow. Try fantasizing about him and see if it makes you feel better. That's what I did.
