So I am happy I've got good health and family and friends that love and support me but I still can't help feeling down. The thing is I can't feel like I can talk to my friends about this stuff because I'm the one who doesn't care about this stuff nothing really gets me down and if something does I just pretend it doesn't. I dunno this is going to sound weird but recently I've been wanting a relationship like i just want someone to be there for me. Recently over the past week I've had these dreams where I've got a boyfriend and I'm happy and it's made me want that. I'm 22 and never hard a boyfriend or any sort of relationship mainly because I've always never cared about it. I'm just going to have to wait but it's annoying Another thing is my weight I'm not obese or anything but I've got a "beer belly" and it's makes me so insecure and I'm going to the gym and TRYING to eat right. I had lost a good bit of it but then I put it back on. It's awful I just feel that the gay community can be so judgement so it makes me feel so insecure that it turns guys away. I just don't really know what is wrong it's alot of things I just wanna feel good for a change
You mention in your profile that you're out to everyone. If that's the case, then I'd encourage you to tell people how you're feeling - about being down about certain things, but also about wanting a relationship. Talking about the former will help you process things, and maybe get you some good ideas for moving past them, and the more people who know you're looking for a relationship, the more likely someone might be able to set you up with someone, or any such thing. You've gone through the whole coming out process - reap the benefits! As far as your concerns about weight - it's entirely normal to be dissatisfied at least a small bit with some part of your body. Keep up the healthy eating and stay active, and as long as you're doing that, try not to pre-judge yourself. You never know - you might meet someone who thinks it's cute! And in all likelihood, most won't be bothered by it in any case. But, if you decide beforehand that it's unattractive and you shouldn't try to meet anyone before you've lost it, then you won't meet anyone, but only because you'll be holding yourself back.
Everyone gets down now and again I just had my little bout with it the other night, and I'm like you I'm always the happy, positive one that cheers others up, or knows just what to say when someone needs it, sometimes you need to be down and let it out, but ya always gotta get back up, raise your chin and carry on. I find it's the stupid things that get me back up, well them and posting on here, some dumb joke or a line that makes me smile even once and then I usually can pull myself out of that funk. On your weight, just keep at it, even if you slip up that's no reason to quit, if anything it should make you push harder, do an extra 5-10reps this week or run an extra kilometre on the treadmill whatever your doing for exercise. It will come off, but its gonna take that little extra effort. (&&&)
