Hello, So, I'm not sure where I post this about. But, I know for a fact I am gay. One thing I am kinda concerned about is finding a boyfriend. I just don't know what love feels like, because I lost a lot of people in my life. I lost my mom who when I was 12, my dad when I was 9. My uncle who died with my mom in a car crash. My Grandma takes care of me, but I feel like its a broken family. My family doesn't go anywhere, we all feel disjointed. And to add to the cake, I am gay. I just to feel love, from a boy who can be there for me. But its so hard, living as a native, being gay can get you jumped. I am very tall (6'5''), and people think I am straight. So I don't know where to start... I feel like I'm a balloon, ready to pop at any moment.
Hi there! If nothing else, congrats on coming out to yourself, at least. As far as coming out to others - like you mention, if coming out could make you unsafe, then I'd recommend holding off for now. Hopefully that changes in the future, but in the short term, putting yourself in danger isn't a good idea for whatever reason. As far as find a boyfriend and feeling love - in some ways, that will happen on its own time. It helps to be ready, to make time in your life for a relationship and envision what you would want that relationship to look like. But that said, of course at some point you'll have to meet someone, and that's the part we don't necessarily have control over (though being around LGBT people makes it easier for sure). Also, have you looked for any Native American/etc. LGBT groups, in addition to sites like EC? There should be several online, and maybe even some in your area. I don't know for sure that this will be an option but it might be worth looking into.