Can an accepting person have internalized homophobia?

Absolutely, Wolfwing,

We all go through that to a greater or lesser degree. We know that we don't fit in with advertised societal 'norms' (i.e. many in society don't think you're normal) so we have to go through the process of acceptance that we aren't straight. In effect, we've lost the idea or perception that we are straight (society's 'normal') and we go through the grieving process (Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance). These steps/stages that we go through don't always happen in that order and sometimes you go back and forth between them.

In fact, though, you are a normal as anyone else, you just happen to be in the minority about your specific sexual orientation. Your were born the way you are and accepting who you are is the most important thing to leading you to a happy life.

But look no one would CHOOSE to be in a minority and we know that life can be harder on people in minorities that people in the mainstream, so it's natural to want to deny that we are different from the majority in any way. But our sexual preference is something that we can't change. It's part of who we are, so, ultimately, we have to embrace it to be comfortable with ourselves and whole.

I hope this helps you a little.

Stay strong!

---------- Post added 28th Aug 2016 at 02:20 AM ----------

Oh, and to specifically address something else you wrote, there is a big difference between being open-minded and accepting ideas/ideals for other people (gay rights, gay marriage, etc) and accepting that those topics/issues now apply directly to us as individuals.

 

Your asking yourself a great question, and with that question you go down the rabbit hole to resolve your remaining internalized homophobia. So much around you reflects the negatively embedded LGBT views of society. While you might not have been directly impacted, the messaging is all around us. So while consciously you may not feel it, subconsciously you are being impacted.

Bringing it to the forefront will help you address it within yourself. There are many threads attributed towards working through and resolving IH. I suggest doing a search and reading up.

Good luck!