I consider myself unemployable. Ok, so- six years ago I decided to go back into education and started the path to getting my degree (did a year's Access course, started degree, did well.... then took a year out after my second brother's death & my own divorce). It's been a struggle. This year, I hit the brake on my final exams and postponed them to next May. I'm sure if I put my mind to it I'll graduate with a good grade. The thing is, I no longer care. I no longer have any interest in working in anything related to my degree, and have completely changed as a person since I first started. Since my brothers' deaths etc, my priorities and outlook on life have been turned upside down. I can't even remember how it feels to have ambition or drive and have totally run out of fucks to give. Add to that the fact that all the time spent working on my degree is time I've spent without a job. No employer wants someone whose only work experience is singing in bars ten years ago. I no longer buy into the illusion that higher education is the ticket to a better life. I used to want to go into the police or something similar, (for the excitement and the women, obviously) but realise now that that would mean cleaning up my lifestyle (a lot) and possibly selling my soul, or at least the part of it that is generally opposed to the idea of states, nations and oppressive power hierarchies. I basically feel that graduation will be one step towards a miserable, weed free, responsible, debt ridden life going round in circles, and that's possibly why I've postponed my exams- to postpone the inevitable plunge into the murky world of graduate unemployment. I'm too old for graduate schemes, too broke for interning or a masters. Feeling depressed about wasted years and lack of vision for the future, disillusioned by the folly of 'success', and generally annoyed about wage slavery and lack of real opportunities in the world of work for being anything other than someone's bitch behind a desk. Sorry for the rant yo. Anyone here love their job?? Any advice on rekindling my ambition/motivation? If I'm not careful it's going to slip so low that I don't even care about graduating at all, and then I really will have wasted a shit load of time and money. Any thoughts are appreciated! :help::tears:
To be honest, I can't help but wonder if this is more the root of the issue than school itself, exactly. Based on what you've written here, I'm not hearing that your interests have changed and you'd rather now do X instead of Y, but instead that you don't want to do much of anything. You use the word "depressed" yourself, talk about having no ambition, and so forth. Perhaps everything that's happened in the meantime has sidetracked you (which is totally understandable, given what's happened) and the best thing would just be to get back on track emotionally speaking. Out of curiosity, does your school offer any counseling/psychological services to students? It might help to continue talking about this, and specifically what's been going on in your personal life, with someone in that capacity. Of course posting more here about it could help too.
I think you're right, I have been sidetracked by stuff that's happened, but there's also been a paradigm shift in my outlook. I've done counselling etc at uni and outside of it.... I'm a pretty strong person and not 'depressed' as much as totally apathetic and cynical. Thanks for indulging my rant :* x
Look, regardless of what your degree will be in, it doesn't lock you down. It gives you options. Even if you decide you now hate whatever it is you're going to have a degree in, it still opens some doors for the future. If later you decide that you want to go do a post-grad degree in something else you're actually passionate about, that option is open. I have a friend who studied financial journalism for her undergrad (wtf right?) and then went on to do a Masters in Paleontology... I started my own Masters degree during my divorce and basically treated it as a stop-gap so I wouldn't have to get a 'real job' . it's only now, when I'm really at the tail end of it, that I've found some enthusiasm for the future with what I'm doing. The point is, it takes time. And you will figure out what you want to do. If you only have a couple of courses left to finish though, for God's sake, finish it. Having a degree is never going to hurt your future. Anyway, that's my take on it. Hopefully, it helps
