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I Have Zero Experience - How Do I Meet People?

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by CoconutOilLady, Sep 3, 2016.

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  1. CoconutOilLady

    CoconutOilLady Member

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    Location:
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    So I know that this answer can be googled... but there's something more reassuring about getting advice in real time, from people with more experience and insight than me.

    I live in the UK, I'm 18 and I've never dated. I've only kissed one boy (and I may as well have been kissing a plate.) However I've only ever had two crushes (not including famous figures,) and they were both teachers. It's not even an age thing though - it's just that I'm attracted to maturity and intelligence. I can't relate to that common story of people developing strong feelings for their best friends, because for me, as soon as I make friends with someone - that's it.
    With both the real-life and famous crushes, those feelings only seem to develop once those people have 'grown' on me. I don't have the ability to just look at someone and find them attractive. Their personality MUST be known as well.
    On top of this I have difficulty making friends. I'm not mean or anything, I just find it very difficult to click with people, and they find it difficult to click with me. So because of this and my very low number of crushes, I don't really know how to go about dating.

    So:
    I'm kind of skeptical about online dating, but I was wondering if anyone here could share their experience of it (I'm not demanding a lot of detail or anything,) and change my mind?

    If there are other ways of meeting people, what are they?

    What is it like the first time you go out?

    I know this sounds desperate and like I'm trying to rush, and I know I'm young, but I've felt left out a while and I want to feel like I at least have an idea of what to expect when I do decide to go out. I haven't come out to anyone at all, although I think my mum knows.

    Thanks :slight_smile:
     
    #1 CoconutOilLady, Sep 3, 2016
  2. slickrick

    slickrick Guest

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    Location:
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    Sexual Orientation:
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    The last love of my life was also my teacher (well... my uni professor). I totally get that.

    Well, I hate to break it to you babe but meeting people is freaking hard- and meeting the right 'one' who you click with, are mutually attracted to, share the same life goals with.... ugh, it just gets more complicated.

    Online dating is a waste of time.... well, it is for me- I've been doing it for years and only ever met three people on there who I met in real life and was attracted to only two of them, but it never went anywhere.

    Have you tried lesbian speed dating? If you're in London they do that there, I've tried it, it's a fun way to meet people even if you don't end up dating them, and expanding your circle of gay friends means there's more potential to meet someone through networking.

    Don't give up though, get yourself out there.
     
    #2 slickrick, Sep 4, 2016
  3. shootingstar

    shootingstar Guest

    Like you I feel a bit late to the game because I still haven't come out yet. Personally I think the best chance of meeting someone that you do click with is just by going out and doing the things you like. For example, if you really like cooking take a cooking class and maybe there you'll happen to meet like-minded people.

    I don't know if this really helps or not but either way know that you're not alone!
     
    #3 shootingstar, Sep 5, 2016
  4. Beth 43

    Beth 43
    Regular Member

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    Location:
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I would agree until now. When I signed on for online dating...the neighbors could hear me scream HELL NO! Each time that I signed on, it was because I was bored. Until now. I have found the one person online that I absolutely want! She is beautiful, intelligent, talented, and funny. And beautiful. She speaks with as much foul language as I do - and I love it. She is so blunt, real. My problem now... is convincing her that this is worth taking a chance. So - advice - eventually there is ONE that makes your heart skip a bit. I am starting to think she is the only one...but that is another thread. In addition, I am also a teacher. :slight_smile:
     
    #4 Beth 43, Sep 5, 2016
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