Should I tell my best friend I'm gay over messaging?

Well, personally, Doughmaster, I think it's best to Come Out to someone in person, whenever possible - that way they can see you are very serious and you can see their reaction directly. But everyone does it in their own way. Some by text messages. Some by writing letters, etc.

I totally relate to your throat locking up when trying to tell him. When I Came Out to my best friend, it was on the phone because he lives quite far away from me right now. When it came time to deliver 'the news,' I kept talking all around the subject for over 5 minutes and every time I tried to say it, my throat kept tightening up. He was patient with me, but I could tell that he was getting a little annoyed that I wasn't getting to the point of whatever I wanted to tell him so badly. Finally, I got it out. He just laughed (gently, not meanly), said he wasn't surprised, and told me that it didn't change anything about our friendship. I hadn't expected anything but an accepting reaction, but you never really know how anyone will react until you actually Come Out to them.

In your case, what if you tried to tell him face to face, but had a short, written note, saying "I'm gay" with you and, if you couldn't get the words out, you could just hand him the note?

Take care. Stay strong and proud!

 

Oh, and to me, one of the hardest things about Coming Out to anyone after getting the words out, is waiting for their reaction. If you Come Out using a text message, you could be waiting very anxiously for an unknown amount of time before you get a response/reaction.

 

Always do whatever makes you most comfortable. Sometimes that means Coming Out to someone. Sometimes it means keeping it means keeping it hidden from them. And the method you use to Come Out to anyone is ultimately irrelevant, but some methods may be more comfortable for you personally than others. That's totally fine and normal.

 

Go ahead and cry, Doughmaster! This is a very emotional moment for you!

You didn't specifically say, but did you already tell him or is it imminent?

 

No, I was simply referring to Coming Out to him.

 

O.K. Good luck!

 

:lol:Counsellors and therapists can be important, too, depending on your problem/issue. They can deal with you much more directly, getting to know you and your problem/issue personally. Here we are all anonymous and only really know what anyone cares to share/post. In your particular case right now, you are not going through anything every other LGBTQ person on this website hasn't experienced at some point in their lives. That's something that makes this such a great website/resource!

 

Ok, let me get this straight (pardon the pun)... You came out to your friend in person, after sending him a text that you have something important to tell him? Or did you come out via text, or still need to come out? Might be a blonde moment, but it was a little unclear. Either way, well done, and good luck for the future! (*hug*)

Quantumreality gave some good advice, and I'm glad that you had the courage to come out to your best friend. Like Quantum said, we all come out in different ways. I, for one, came out to one of my friends via text; to my parents in a typed out letter; and to my Facebook friends, well, on Facebook. The more people I came out to, the more comfortable I became with telling people. Nowadays, I can tell people to their face without that tight throat, dry mouth feeling. I still get nervous because I don't always know what the person's stance is on the LGBT community, but so far I've only gotten good results. Some questions came from it, but for the most part, people were nice about it.

Just the other day, I came out to one of my colleagues. He took it well, so I was relieved. All in all, you have to weigh up possible outcomes, and do what you feel is right. If you ever feel like you'd be unsafe coming out to someone, then don't. I know that for some people, especially people as young as you, it's harder because of mean kids' bullying. I endured quite a bit of bullying in High School, but you know what? Even though I'm not quite over it yet, it's only made me a stronger person. As an adult, I laugh it off because kids will be kids. But the scars remain. I hated school, but the teachers loved me so that made it tolerable.

So yeah, do whatever YOU feel comfortable with. If you feel more comfortable coming out via text, then that's the way you should do it. It's a good thing, though, to push yourself out of your comfort zone. Whatever you do, keep being fabulous!!! :thewave: ride: