I'm really tired of this shit.

Hi Nick

I'm really sorry you are going through this. I also came out when I was really young (14), and there was a lot of hatred even though I'm not a gay guy. It starts out bad, but I really hope you find someone out there who supports you throughout all this.

 

Those people are wrong. I know if it's coming from your family and you are dependent on them for shelter and food and all the necessities, it's really, really hard to deal with. A lot of the negative things people say are only true because we're taught by them to hate ourselves. But there are people who will give you the emotional support you need to bear through this and get on with your life. This forum is one of those places full of people who will listen to you and support you. As far as "friends" go, put poison people out of your life. There are other people all around you going through similar experiences. I hope you can find them or they can find you and offer mutual understanding and emotional uplift. Protect yourself. Don't destroy yourself. You are a valuable person.

 

Hi Nick123,

I'm really sorry to hear you are having such a difficult time and it doesn't sound like there is anyone you can really talk to in your social group. If there is someone you think you can trust with this maybe you can talk to them. If not then please just talk here - you can say whatever is on your mind.

In terms of what is true or not, I think you have to rely on your experience. Only you can decide what you feel. If you are attracted to boys then you can rely on that - no one else can feel or experience your life for you. Those who say it is wrong or unhealthy are talking from what they have been told and are not thinking about those of us who are gay and the impact their abuse can have on us. You have to trust your own feelings and I know that is hard when people are telling you that they are wrong but you have to live with yourself before anyone else.

I would suggest stopping the drugs and alcohol as they will only make you feel worse after the temporary high effects wear off and it really doesn't help resolve how you feel. I would suggest running or some form of exercise - it can help keep you calm and make you feel better.

I hope this helps and keep talking here. Whatever you are feeling it's better to share it than keep it to yourself. Really, we are all with you.

 

Nick, you've described why so many LGBT people have drug and alcohol problems. LGBT people are several times more likely, for example, to be addicted to opiates.

It would be one thing, if you did these things to excess just because you wanted to have a thrill or have fun, but you are doing it as a reaction to not liking yourself. This is like drinking poison, and waiting for the other person to die.

I was bullied myself when I was young, so I know how it is. I'm not Greek, so I don't know about that. Yet I do know that the big priority for you is getting some kind of self-esteem back. It's not about stopping the gay part--that's not going to work to do that. If there is anything you can do, whether it's got anything to do with the gay part or not, to have a better outlook on yourself as a person, that's what you need to do.

Don't kill yourself, so somebody else can have the last laugh. It is you, my friend, who deserves to have the last laugh on this one.

 

Hi Nick123,

It's good that you have a friend who you can trust and who is going through something similar. Even if you can't talk to her about everything maybe you can speak to her about some of the things on your mind? Just a suggestion but it might help even if you share just a little of how you are feeling.

That's great that you stopped smoking - if you can, may be you could try and limit the alcohol you drink or how often. I'd urge you to try, I had a bit of drink problem when I was at university and it really didn't help - so if you just try and take it easy.

I know this will not sound immediately helpful - but once you are older you will have the opportunity to go abroad or move elsewhere that is more accepting and that you will feel more comfortable in. (Perhaps Loli21 can speak to this more directly about dealing with family situations after coming out at a young age.) The important thing to remember is that you are not on your own and the current situation is not permanent. I hope you are feeling a bit better and remember you can talk about whatever is bothering you here.

 

I just wanted to say I'm going through some really similar issues you have. I'm not even out to anybody yet I hear enough homophobic remarks and statements about it being a mental disease that I can't help it but always second guess if I'm gay or in my head. Though for the most part I've finally established for myself I'm not a crazy person for being gay, I can't help but have that 1 shred of doubt society has instilled in me.
I'm going threw some tough times two, just wanted to say you're not alone in that sense hoping it might make you feel better. Because reading yours and knowing I'm not alone on this helped me some.

 

Am I the only one having a hard time with the idea of not smoking weed and instead drinking alcohol? I know neither would be best, but would weed not be better? non addictive, not neurotoxic...

Anyways, just a thought... So it really sucks you guys are going through this, and I can relate... I am older now and I am more comfortable with myself than when I was younger... I always like to use the phrase "this too shall pass" but the popular one nowadays is "it gets better" and it does. Just try to relax and give yourself a break.. You can always talk here, I know there are tons of people, myself included, who are ore than willing to talk if you just want someone to talk to, but if that is not enough,I would also recommend The Trevor Project

I wish you the best of luck...