Hi! So I came out to my immediate family a while ago, but my mom eventually told me that I should come out to the rest of the family. I was pretty sure I wasn't ready, but after a while I sort of convinced myself I was and sent out an email to the rest of my family. I got only positive, supportive responses, but now I'm just constantly stressed out. I feel like I made an impulsive decision, and that it was a mistake. I keep second-guessing myself and wondering if I really am transgender, even though I've come to terms with it in the past and whenever I think about it I can't think of anything else I could be. I was so sure of myself before, and now I'm just constantly worried that I've ruined everything by coming out before I was ready. I just need advice on how to handle this, I'm so lost
Well, what's done is done. The best thing you can do for yourself is to move forward, however that looks. The fact that you have only positive support is tremendous, so work with that. It's natural to second-guess, to want that complete confidence. But that comes with time. You knew well enough to go and come out, so that sounds pretty sure to me. On the off chance you aren't trans, that's okay too. You don't have to "commit" to anything you aren't comfortable with. The important thing is to be authentic. Try stepping back, putting aside all the tumultuous thoughts, plans, and worries, and asking yourself, "Who am I at my core?" Does that look like a guy, or a girl, or maybe neither? I too felt extremely pensive at coming out to my family. But I did. And while unfortunately it was met with bitter rejection and a shove back in the closet, causing me to requestion everything about my identity I previously held, it was ultimately for the better. Now I know for certain who I am, because I've tasted who I'm not. And as the great Sherlock Holmes says, "Once you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth." So if the only thing you know is that you aren't a girl, or feminine, then work from there and eliminate until you come to the most logical conclusion. Best wishes.
