I think there's a part of me that's want to be gay even though i don't know that I am, idk why that is. Maybe I witnessed too much pain caused by men or maybe it's a way of being noticed, really idk if I am or not. Anyway I find myself looking at every girl I see on the street thinking this one's pretty, this one I could be with, or is this one gay ? Idk if I'm tring to get a reaction on my part or if I'm trying to make myself feel something, I'm confused. Have any of you experienced the same thing ? Any advice ?
I am actually going through the same exact thing! For some reason, I feel like I want to be gay, but it's not because I want to feel different. It's a weird feeling, but I do force myself to look at girls and I don't know why. If anyone has any advice, that'd be great!!!
I've seen many posts on EC that suggest one way to help you determine aspects of your sexuality is to examine your masturbation fantasies - without porn. Where does your mind go for arousal for masturbation? Thinking about that might give you some clues. I know for myself that I have always fantasized about men even while closeted and in denial, married with kids, and identified as straight. Your fantasies don't lie.
I've been identifying myself as bisexual since the age of 15. This year I came out to my nearest friends; as I told them I wished to date a girl, I suddenly started questioning my attraction to girls as a whole (this is crazy). And I was so scared of being straight (lol, this is also crazy) that I used to look obsessively at every-walking-human-being, asking to myself: "Is he/she/everythingelse hot?". I felt like I wished to be homosexual but I didn't feel I was homosexual, I felt sometimes bisexual and sometimes (horror!) even etero. This mood has passed away; now I know that I'm attracted to both males and females and peace-please-come-to-my-mind. Then I read this comment. What are my fantasies? Women. Women with… hum, big-women-attributes. And, in those fantasies, I have a… penis. But I don't think I should trust mainly my sexual fantasies. What about romantic fantasies?
