Hi ^.^ I identify myself as bisexual. I'm coming progressively out: I'm out to my friends, soon I will come out to my parents and then… to the whole world. As a child, I was mostly a tomboy by the inner side (played with boys, dressed casual and sporty, acted rebellious, etc) but also raised as a tomboy (my mother used to buy me boy clothing because I ran and jumped and climbed on everything and girly clothing would have been ruined soon). During my teenager years, I've been feminine but looked a bit androgynous (even when I had long hair); but these last two years I slowly rid myself of the clothing style my mom used to impose/suggest to me and looked more and more feminine. Just wished to try. And it felt really good. Last month, I felt my masculine side growing again inside me, as if it were saying: "hey, I am the main thing in your mind, now". I started dressing in a more masculine way, I cut my hair short (but not too short). My appearance is still feminine or androgynous, but it's only because I don't want other people think: "She's playing the butch lesbian only because she came recently out as bisexual, but she's not a true butch". I don't have enough courage to start dressing as a butchie-butch. But - I fantasize - if I had a trip to a city where no one knows me, I would dress like that, maybe I might also do female-to-male cross dressing. I wish I had a binder. I've never hung out with a girl in a romantic sense (no luck), but if I did I know I would be the one who "acts" like a man: I would open doors, give flowers (<3), court… oh, well, I've already courted a lot of times. With compliments and poetry. (But, again, no luck). I would be "butch" also… under the sheets. Where do I find the courage to walk on that path? (sorry for my weird english)
Actually, I think your English is pretty good and it was easy to read. The thing with hair, is it will grow back out. So it is not like you are stuck with it forever and if you don't like it, it is not hard to change. Granted if you go way short you are stuck until it gets longer... Same with the style of clothing you wear. Its a little more of a monetary investment, but if you shop smart you could mix and match to rock either a feminine or masculine look. Being androgynous gives you a little more freedom, in my opinion, to just dress the way you want when you wake up in the morning.
