Hello. I am a gay christian and 100% out to everyone except my family. I live in lebanon... No one really accepts me for being gay but thank god they dont bully me about it at school. I go to a school where there is an equal amount of christians and muslims who all believe the same thing; its a choice to be gay, and i can just decide to turn straight whenever I want to. Anybody who tells me that immediately loses my respect. I've argued so many times with them trying to prove that i was born this way but they are just too stubborn to understand. All of them. Recently there has been a muslim who keeps on calling me faggot just because he knows it annoys me. I always get pissed off when he teases me on my class chat group and try my best to defend myself. Everyone i am out to doesn't care if they insult my homosexuality, the way i have always been. Just becuase they believe that it is a really simple matter to just choose to like a girl instead of a guy. I give them examples telling them that if they are truly straight guys, then they can't possible choose to have a crush a guy, so why would i? As i said, because of how stubborn they are, they dont want to believe me. Lucky for me, i have a Danish mother and i got a Danish passport when i was born. I am planning on moving to denmark as soon as i turn 16 to go to a boarding school. However now that i am still 13, i have three more years living here in lebanon where i hate it the most. Being gay here is legal however it is not accepted by most. So i am asking for any advice you might have for me for the next 3 years that i am living here. Also, do you think coming out might have been a bad choice that i made in a country like that? (Even though it is better than other middle eastern countries, it still isnt a good place for LGBT to live.) If you think coming out was a mistake, what should i do about it? I would really appreciate any help
That is a tough situation... I really dont know what to tell you... There is the obvious of saying you decided to like girls.. but that not only helps propagate false information, and it may not help at this point with the harassment... I know this is a stupid question, but I have to ask... Why not go to a boarding school before 16? Do they not have boarding schools available at 13? Also, do you have any family in Denmark? maybe you could move there and attend ordinary school... Now my first thought with the choice argument was what you already said.... Tell them in that case to choose to be gay themselves... I am guessing the school does nothing about the harassment... From an article: Gay conversion therapy is ineffective, several studies have found, and the American Psychological Association now says such treatment is harmful and can worsen feelings of self-hatred. For men, studies suggest that orientation is fixed by the time the individual reaches puberty. Women show greater levels of "erotic plasticity," meaning their levels of attraction are more significantly shaped by culture, experience and love than is the case for men. However, even women who switch from gay to straight lifestyles don't stop being attracted to women, according to a 2012 study in the journal Archives of Sexual Behavior. Those results suggest that while people can change their behavior, they aren't really changing their basic sexual attraction. End of article excerpt... If conversion therapy is widely discredited and generally believed not to work, then how can you consider it a choice. That might be an argument to use... Also you could say something like the only choice you made was to be honest... if your really pissed maybe say "which is better than your doing" implying he is gay... an openly gay kid calling you gay might be enough to get him to back off, or it might be enough to start a fight... be cautious... No matter what anytime you are feeling a little down make sure to come here and vent... You have at least one lifeline here.... And look into denmark schools you might be able to attend now... for example this one does 0-9 grade: http://www.interskolen.dk/
As far as the bully is concerned, if you can just 'bite your lip' and pretend it does not annoy you (however hard that is) then he will lose interest in bullying. He only does it because he enjoys seeing you react. So if you pretend it is going over your head you may find it stops. Denmark sounds a great idea and if you can plan the move with your parents it will help the time pass easier. You will be able to say to yourself "F** them .. I'm out of here in three years!!" Three years sounds like forever but actually it will pass quite quickly. :icon_bigg
Thanks for the help guys. Answering the question you asked me in the first reply, i would really like to leave earlier. However, my parents don't want me to be that far away from them at this age
You have been honest with them about what is happening in your life? They might understand. considering where you live, and let you go... Are you out to them? I didnt even think of that... Maybe look in Denmark for a school that is top notch OR specializes in something you take interest in, and then make the argument that this is a great opportunity for you... instead of the argument being you want ot leave lebanon...
I am not out to them because i am afraid that they would believe the same thing as everyone else does... I usually go to denmark with my family every summer and they see what an amazing place the city (Copenhagen) is for me to grow up and live in compared to Beirut. I've done lots of research about the danish education system and I found many private international schools such as: The International Academy and Boarding Scool of Denmark And for a regular non-boarding school which is one of the best in Denmark and is located in Copenhagen, Copenhagen International School. Ive shown them all the research ive done however, for some reason, they are still convinced that i should stay in lebanon until i turn 16 and i am out of ideas of how to convice them. Also, i can't convince them that going to school over there would be better for my education since they are sure that the lebanese education system is really good although i dont think so..
When I thought that about my dad, I started advocating LGBT issues and educating him... The trick, in my opinion, to not being "outed" by the process, is to advocate all progressive issues, LGBT rights being among them. For example advocating national healthcare, demilitarization of the police, etc (american issues). Then throwing LGBT rights in the mix... At least you could feel your parents out and see what they think... Who knows, maybe they are possible allies for you. It doesnt sound like you are fully aware of your parents thoughts. I cant suggest coming out or not coming out to them because of this. But if you start bringing LGBT rights into the conversation you might be able to figure out how they feel and determine if you feel safe coming out...
