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Trembling when facing audience

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by crystalbal, Sep 18, 2016.

  1. crystalbal

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    Hi all :slight_smile:

    I would like to discuss about one situation which causes me to tremble due to social anxiety.

    It's that I have stage fright.

    When I give a presentation in front of the class, my legs will start to tremble.

    It's similar to this video.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OWgS9v7jOjc

    And there was another time whereby I had to receive a prize in front of an audience of 15 people.

    I had to shake hands with the person giving the prize and had to look in front because the camera man was taking a photo.

    At that point, my cheeks on my face started to tremble and my eyes were twitching.

    Similar to this gif:
    [​IMG]

    It was really embarrassing because the person giving the prize and the cameraman were staring at me. I felt humiliated and like an idiot standing there. I wish I could die on that spot.

    After that, I walked to my seat and took a quick look at the audience, they were staring at me. I felt very upset. I wondered what thoughts ran in their minds. Were they thinking that I was behaving like a lunatic? Or I'm an abnormal person?

    After every incident like this, I would go home and cry on my bed.:tears: I might be behaving childish (I'm in my mid 20s) but I can't help it. I really wish I can behave like other normal people when giving presentations or receiving a prize. I regret being born and don't wish to live. I just don't feel like a human being at all. :frowning2:

    What will your thoughts be if you saw such a person in real life during presentation or prize giving ceremony? Will you be thinking why is this person behaving like that? Will you despise him/her and avoid him/her in the future?

    What do you think I can do during such times to control the trembling?
     
    #1 crystalbal, Sep 18, 2016
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 18, 2016
  2. Lightsaberpearl

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    If I saw someone doing that, I'd think they'd either have a tic or that they were anxious. If the trembling was severe enough I might think they were having a seizure.

    I wouldn't think any less of them-I really understand how much stage fright sucks

    Honestly I'd just be concerned over their safety of the trembling was bad enough for me to notice.

    A stretchy I use is counting and using my different senses. For example I'll count the ceiling tiles before giving a presentation to calm myself down.

    During a presentation I carry a mechanical pencil and quietly "flick" the little, um, thingy it had on the side that can clip on to stuff.

    I also sometimes bring him to chew but that's not always practical or allowed.

    Also deep breaths and telling myself that most people are mostly concerned about themselves and not me helps me as well.

    I hope this was useful and good luck with any other upcoming presentations and whatnot :slight_smile:
     
    #2 Lightsaberpearl, Sep 20, 2016
    Last edited: Sep 20, 2016
  3. crystalbal

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    Thanks for your reply Lightsaberpearl :slight_smile:

    Thanks for your suggestions. They'll be useful to distract myself from being anxious during presentations. :slight_smile:

    Thanks for your kind words too. :slight_smile:

    I always keep worrying what others will be thinking of me when I'm trembling in front of others. If they think that I'm abnormal , then its going to be disappointing to me. :frowning2:

    But since you mentioned that you'll be thinking that the person is just anxious, I think it's okay. :slight_smile:
     
  4. Quantumreality

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    cuteboyever,

    I've given speeches and briefings to a lot of people in my life - including national-level leaders. I've NEVER actually gotten over stagefright, I've just learned to control it and use it as a strength, allowing myself to be more emphatic and forceful in my presentations.

    One thing that really helps is to practice your speech ahead of time. Practice it many times, so that you are totally familiar with it - so you KNOW what you want to say. And if you can practice in front of an audience of say a friend or two who can criticize your presentation (point out things that might distract from your presentation), that can really help, too. For example, your practice audience might notice that you have a nervous tendency to tap your foot or say 'uh' way too often - things that your regular audience will notice and could distract them from your presentation. And an attentive and interested audience is always far easier to talk to. But rehearsing like this multiple times can really build up your confidence.

    Oh, and I know this sounds cliche, but the more you get up and talk in front of people, the easier it gets.

    I don't know if that helps, but best of luck!:slight_smile:
     
    #4 Quantumreality, Sep 23, 2016
    Last edited: Sep 23, 2016
  5. faustian1

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    For the purposes of this answer, I'm going to assume you are a student and are taking classes.

    This same problem hit me, beginning in the 5th grade. I was a paralyzing case of stage fright, almost like a panic attack. It expanded as I was required to give presentations in front of the class all term long. This extreme phobia persisted all the way through high school, and the beginning of college.

    One thing that I was very good at was foreign languages. I took classes in foreign languages in college, progressing very quickly to 4th year through advanced placement. It was then that I found myself in small, 8 to 10 person seminar classes, where conversation with the group was a daily occurrence. After a year of so of this, I found by coincidence that my fear of speaking to somewhat larger groups was greatly diminished. I also had some success, although still was very nervous, in front of very large groups.

    At some point, I engaged with a counselor, who specialized in biofeedback. He taught me how to focus and become centered in my own responses. This I found to be extremely valuable, in dealing with stressful situations. On a couple of occasions, I also was able to appear on television without being a complete disaster.

    I also find that I get somewhat out-of-practice, if I do not speak in front of groups regularly. Sometimes, I feel the old phobias creeping back if I don't do this. So a regular practice of this learned skill of speaking is necessary, to keep myself from appearing to be nervous to the group. The behaviorists around here probably would call this course of dealing with the problem "systematic de-sensitization." Whatever you want to call it, I think my experience proves that you can train your way out of this problem, with focused effort.

    So the above are my suggestions to you. There also is a group in the United States, called Toastmasters International, that is a social group dedicated to improving the art and skills of public speaking. You could look into this, after you've done some of the basic work outlined above.

    Whenever I see, as a member of an audience, someone suffering from this awful problem, I feel immense sympathy for them, because I know that it prevents them from showing their full potential. I know there is a smart person inside the walls of that fear, just wanting to come out and express the thoughts inside.
     
    #5 faustian1, Sep 23, 2016
    Last edited: Sep 23, 2016
  6. crystalbal

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    Thanks for your replies Quantumreality and faustian1. :slight_smile:

    I also feel that practicing by speaking in front of audience will be helpful. I'll start working on it :slight_smile:

    Thanks for your tips :slight_smile:
     
  7. ABeautifulMind

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    I think the reason I can never really relate that well to stage fright is because it is sort of the same as any other conversation to me... Like when I was a lot younger I had serious anxiety whether in front of 1 or 2 people, or 10 or 15.... As I got better with small numbers, big numbers didnt bother me as much...

    When my parents put me in private school, I used to help with the sermons on wednesday chapels, in 8th grade (i know, shut up :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: ) which helped a little more... I used to have a serious problem crossing my legs while speaking and leaning on the podium lol, and the minister helped me with that...

    And then in highschool I went into both cross examination and values debating... That is where I really learned how to speak in front of groups...

    In other words, I have to agree with what has been said... Practice makes perfect..

    That being said, there were times when I was younger where I would have one of my "ticks" (actually called stimming, form of self soothing) act up, most frequently I would sort of sway... occasionally tap on my leg... but I never realized I was until it was too late... and I would get a little embarrassed, but I found that most people were pretty forgiving because they were terrified of getting up there as well... Of course at the time I needed the most practice, I was in a private christian school so it was probably easier than a public school would have been...

    Last but not least, like so many things in life, public speaking is all about confidence. That is why preparing before hand can help, because you feel more confident you know your shit... I found that the more confident I was, the less likely I was to have any of my public speaking problems creep up... like saying ummm... or pacing.... or swaying... little things like that...

    Last but not least, I hope this was helpful, and I hope you can find some relief from your stage fright...
     
  8. crystalbal

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    Thanks for your reply and wishes ABeautifulMind. :slight_smile: Your suggestions are helpful :slight_smile: