I'm a bi closted 20 year old and he is 18 years old. We met on Craiglist(I know) and when we first met he was horny as hell. He made a statement that he did not perform oral sex on a guy in “awhile”. At the same time he said watch gay porn and got curious. Anyway we finished up he said he really liked it so we met up the next night and found out we both are stoners. After I dropped him off he kissed me on the lips. We started to bond over that and he started opening up to me and I found out he is having a kid but he isn't with his baby mom. We met one more time that week and then I didn’t hear from him in a week. Literally I got a random message from him saying he was sorry he didn’t contact me in the last week and he wanted to meet up tonight. So after that we met up for 16 nights in a row and chilled. We are 5 mins away. He started tech school and couldnt meet up every night. So recently it has been random meet ups. The weird thing is that he isn't as sexually active as he was the first week. We chill and get stoned lol nothing sexual. Here is where the confusion comes in. We have cuddled a couple times and he has cried on me because he is going through something crazy. His background is kind of bad but I don’t judge him on his past. We held hands as well. He lies about some things about himself because he contradicts himself. When I asked him what does think about all of this he says he really enjoys it and he want’s “it” to last long. Like what does that mean exactly? Plus every single night we kiss each other on the lips. Pretty much that is a month of happenings in three paragraphs. There is too much to really put in the post. My main thing is I want to know how he really feels. Like we have been bonding for the past month and for some odd reason with me being shy I feel as though I can tell him anything and he says the same goes with me just he isn't shy(I assume). I’m not looking for him to be my boyfriend necessarily but I feel as though there is something there but I just dont know what to do. What ever it is I really want to know. I appreciate any comment or suggestion posted. What should I do?
Well...my advice is to move on and let him tend to deal with his issues. He's young and to have a child on the way and then more than likely...there's a good possibility that he could be confused about his sexuality as well to a certain degree. In other words, there is just too much baggage for a young guy like him to be dealing with at this time and not to mention a potential boyfriend. He has a baby on the way that he will have to be responsible for which means buying diapers, baby formula, babysitting, etc. This will take a lot of his time if he plans on being a responsible and a good father. Once that baby arrives...things could possibly change. Babies tend to change a person once they are born to the degree where your main focus is that child and nothing else. You've mentioned at the end of your post that you are not looking for a boyfriend and yet...you too contradict yourself by saying that there could be something there. However, from what you have mentioned in your post about this guy...I have to say ...honestly...do you really want to deal with all that he is bringing to the table???? I also sense from your post that he is not looking at the situation you have with him in the same way that you are. He sounds to be pretty confused about a lot of things and more than likely...whatever sexual connection you have with him is just that..."in the moment" and nothing more than that. You are pretty young yourself which makes it possible that you want to explore dating and experiencing with other guys in the long run as well. With that being said...I could see you establishing some kind of a friendship with him in order to be somewhat of a support system for him when he needs to vent or talk someone since you two have established some kind of bond between you. Nonetheless...and this is just my opinion...I would definitely move on and stop whatever sexual contact he may present when the mood strikes him because it seems to me that more you spend time with him...your feelings for him will developed into something more which could lead to you having a broken heart. Again..all of this is my opinions which I derived from your initial post. JS
