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Feeling used and let down - dating the "I'm not sure" woman

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Barbeck, Sep 19, 2016.

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  1. Barbeck

    Barbeck
    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    London
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    So as the title says, feeling pretty crappy at the moment.

    Some history - met a beautiful girl and two years on - 5/6 breaks on and off not lasting more than 2 weeks - and we have finally finished due to her indecisiveness in respect of whether she's "gay" or wants a same-sex relationship and in not seeing a future with a woman.

    Throughout the relationship she didn't tell one person of my romantic involvement in her life, just saying we were friends. Caught her on dating apps talking to men, had to hear on a number of occasions people trying to set her up with guys.

    How could I be so naive to this? It was obvious she was never going to come out. In the end she blamed me of sorts saying she felt monitored by me. That I was always checking up on her. The constant indecisiveness made me feel so insecure and taken for granted. Like I was competing with something I couldn't see or even define.

    Has anyone ever experienced this? I know she needs her space and some time to process herself and everything. It has been exhausting. All I want is to get on with life and make a future with someone. :bang::bang:
     
    #1 Barbeck, Sep 19, 2016
  2. musiclife

    musiclife
    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    NC
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    All but family
    It is frustrating at times when you're crushing on or dating someone who is not sure. The best thing you can do is to do whats best for you. Quit outting yourself through the pain of waiting. Give her space. Let her figure it out. There is nothing you can do but wait for her to decide. If she decides that she does want to be with you, thats wonderful. If she decides its not her, you move on. Its easier said than done. I let a girl lead me on for a good 5 months. I always believed her when she said she would break up with her boyfriend. I reached a point where i told her i was done and i left. If she had feelings for me as strong as she claimed they were, she would have fought for me just as hard as i fought for her. If she isnt proud to call you her girl or isnt willing to fight for you, you might be better off. Take a step back and really look at her actions towards you.
    Its hard to let go, but sometimes its harder to hold on. Dont let her drag you down and make you feel less than what youre worth. Theres a girl out there that will treat you as well as im sure youll treat her.
     
    #2 musiclife, Sep 19, 2016
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