I just have to start dating, because I am dead inside! I need this. So, I started going on apps (like ****** and Planet Romeo) and I only met one guy in person so far, but I can't seem to talk with others, because I am afraid of revealing myself. The process usually goes like this: we initiate a conversation, we realize there is a spark, a mutual interest so to speak, so we decide to share photos, and I can't seem to send a face photo, only body photos... I've send photos of my face to numerous guys, but I didn't seem attracted to them so I just deleted the history of our conversation and that was it. Then we just decide that we are not for each other and we move on. How to overcome this? The problem consists of fear of someone finding out I am gay (I am out to many of my friends, but not to my family), mixed with insecurities about my appearance. I remember sending my whole FB profile to a random guy (he sent his first) but we never met in person, because we didn't like each other. Few days later I think I saw him on a running track I frequent. He lives in my neighborhood, so yeah... My heart started pounding and i started sweating... As If somebody might find out I am murderer or something... I know it's silly and I was pretty ashamed of admitting this to myself, lest alone to you, but I really need help, so I can get better...
To fix it, your only solution seems to be to come out to your parents as it seems your biggest worry is them finding out. If they already know then they won't be able to "find out" and you could finally relax and be yourself. Is there any particular reasons you haven't come out to your parents yet? Like are they homophobic? Or do you just fear their reaction? How old are you as well and are you still dependant on your parents ? If you are over 18 and financially independant then I would say your risk "very little" by coming out to your parents. If you are still underage and dependant financially and would put yourself at risk by coming out, then maybe stay put for a little while and delay dating, until you either are financially independent or at least until you feel comfortable dating another guy publicly. ( Dating someone secretly isn't really a viable option in the long term and would cause unecessary stress and heartache I reckon.)
Well, in a more general vein, I think you are right to wonder about this. The technology of facial recognition has progressed immensely since I started working with neural networks and non-linear pattern recognition systems in the 1980's. At this time, it is foreseeable that your photo, linked to accounts, activities, and events on the internet will create a searchable record, forever. Posting or sending a photo will be the same as posting your name, address, and personal data in text, with the result being searchable. Therefore, posting photos should be taken as seriously as posting textual data about yourself, anywhere on the internet. There are ways to modify photos of yourself to filter information from them, but still retain the essential character of the image. This is quite a bit beyond the scope of this forum. The problem with the present practice of harvesting and saving every snippet of data on the internet is that someday, everything you've done that has some kind of traceable fingerprint, of any kind, will be searchable. The Ashley Madison hack is only a microscopic tip of the iceberg of what will be feasible in the future. Imagine a future employer being able to aggregate and identify nearly everything you have done. Or a future mate. Or a bank, or an insurance company. In many ways, those days are here now. It will only get worse. Even browsers are being fingerprinted. Visit https://panopticlick.eff.org to learn more. Your browser+system is so unique that even through private browsing windows and cookie blockers, you are identifiable across the web, down to usually better than 1 in a million. Incidentally eff.org is an excellent source to learn more about internet privacy and net neutrality.
