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I really need help she flirted with me then dated a guy then now avoids me back?????

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Brokenheart4now, Sep 25, 2016.

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  1. Brokenheart4now

    Brokenheart4now
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    We flirted with each other last year and i put a lot of efforts to make her open up to me she used to stare from afar then she started to try to have a conv with me when i talk to her.... She was the sweetest woman i ever met.
    Then i saw her flirting witb a guy so i backed off she seemed shocked but then she tried for two months to be around me she didn't talk first but she tried to make me talk to herand i did.. We talked two days then we stopped talking again by that time i found out she is datinb a guy so i backed off for good she tried to look at me but i would look away or down and walk away... Then she reied to come to me twice one day she looked down like she wanted to say something then she left the other day she walked towards me i looked awya at the computer so she waled away.. Now she avoids me i never seem her for a while its like she disappeared i used to see her at the street near work and near cafe and she doesnt come to the place i hang out at work i see her colleagues and frienda but i never seen her and today i saw her taking anotherstreet its like she is avoiding fhe steeet that we used to see each other in...why is she avoiding me now if she was never serious?????
     
    #1 Brokenheart4now, Sep 25, 2016
  2. Gravity

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    Re: I really need help she flirted with me then dated a guy then now avoids me back??

    It doesn't sound like you two ever really disclosed your feelings for each other. Depending on the status of her relationship, and what sort of relationship you want to have with her (friends, dating, etc.) this may or may not be the right time to do that, but maybe you could start by seeking her out, telling her you're sorry for avoiding her, and ask her how things are in her world lately.

    On the other hand, if this is too stressful for you and you don't feel like you would be able either to be friendly or to acknowledge your feelings for her, perhaps some time apart would be good to help you readjust.
     
    #2 Gravity, Sep 29, 2016
  3. Brokenheart4now

    Brokenheart4now
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    Re: I really need help she flirted with me then dated a guy then now avoids me back??

    I dont see her anymore and she is leaving after few months we might never see each other again
    I was so stressed to be around ber before but now i think about her everyday
     
    #3 Brokenheart4now, Sep 29, 2016
  4. Quantumreality

    Quantumreality
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    Re: I really need help she flirted with me then dated a guy then now avoids me back??

    You definitely seem to have a crush on her.

    You'll have to get past this. I know that sounds simplistic, but it's true. Time will help. Getting back out into your social scene and finding someone new could help you get over her even more. But you just have to be careful not to leap into a relationship with someone new simply to get over her - a rebound relationship usually doesn't turn out well for either partner and you don't want to exchange your hurting heart for regret.

    Take Care. Stay strong and proud!:slight_smile:
     
    #4 Quantumreality, Sep 29, 2016
  5. Brokenheart4now

    Brokenheart4now
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    Re: I really need help she flirted with me then dated a guy then now avoids me back??

    I tried to talk to women i feel like i want her
     
    #5 Brokenheart4now, Sep 29, 2016
  6. Quantumreality

    Quantumreality
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    Re: I really need help she flirted with me then dated a guy then now avoids me back??

    I completely understand, Brokenheart4now. But she is clearly unwilling to return your affections. Whether it is because she is straight or she is in denial about her same-sex attractions, the result is the same for you. Only heartache and heartbreak.
     
    #6 Quantumreality, Sep 29, 2016
  7. Brokenheart4now

    Brokenheart4now
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    Re: I really need help she flirted with me then dated a guy then now avoids me back??

    Should i email her good luck since she will be leaving for good after few months or would this be awkward i just dont want her to leave without saying nice stuff to her after all the good things she did for me when i needed help the most i want to write that we will never see each other again because i dont want her to think that im after her
     
    #7 Brokenheart4now, Sep 29, 2016
  8. Quantumreality

    Quantumreality
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    Re: I really need help she flirted with me then dated a guy then now avoids me back??

    Brokenheart4now,

    If it helps you to get closure on this, what is the harm? If you have a chance to get your feelings about her off your chest, is there a downside? Clearly the potential upside is that if you don't you may regret it and end up hanging on to this non-relationship longer than you should, don't you think? Or would you rather actually talk to her (on the phone in lieu of face-to-face if that works better for you) and let her know? But if you do any of this, I would suggest (and this is just me), I would try to make your email/conversation about your true feelings and an honest, open expression, not blaming her for anything or even implying that she let you down, just trying to let her know how you feel as 'matter of factly' as possible.
     
    #8 Quantumreality, Sep 29, 2016
    Last edited: Sep 29, 2016
  9. Brokenheart4now

    Brokenheart4now
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    Re: I really need help she flirted with me then dated a guy then now avoids me back??

    Thanks for helping me
    Its a professional email so i cant open up with my feelings i dont have her number
    I guess al what i need is if she would stay in touch i guess i want her as a friend because i would never trust her as something more
     
    #9 Brokenheart4now, Sep 29, 2016
  10. Quantumreality

    Quantumreality
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    Re: I really need help she flirted with me then dated a guy then now avoids me back??

    I'm glad if I could help even a little.

    But you have to do what is best for you - especially since she would seem to be unobtainable for you. Your sense of self-confidence and inner peace have to be the most important things right now. Not just from the standpoint of day-to-day living, but also for moving on and, hopefully, finding your OTP!

    I wish you only the best of luck!

    Take Care. Stay strong and proud!:slight_smile:
     
    #10 Quantumreality, Sep 29, 2016
  11. Brokenheart4now

    Brokenheart4now
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    Re: I really need help she flirted with me then dated a guy then now avoids me back??

    Thanks I really apperciate ur opinion i thinki will send it beforeshe go like in few months so i would not think about it anymgore
     
    #11 Brokenheart4now, Sep 30, 2016
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